Overcome A Remus and Sirius fanfict!
by Lauralaulau
Summary: Everybody has things they need to overcome -After Sirius saved Harry from the Dursley's   his innocents was proven  he didn't die  Harry decides he must return repay Sirius. Harry noticed something between Remus and Sirius that neither of them have seen!
1. Chapter 1

Overcome- A Remus and Sirius Fan Fiction!

Post OOTP- Here is a few creative licences I took. Sirius doesn't die or fall through the veil and Peter is identified so Sirius's innocence was proven.

Chapter 1 Homecomings

Harry walked into Grimmauld Place happier than he had been in along time, sure Voldemort has out there and the ongoing battle between the Death Eaters and the Order was still going but he had a family now, a real one with his Godfather.

Sirius had been officially pardoned and offered an apology from the Ministry now they had acknowledged Volemort was back! He was a free man and Harry had come straight to number 12 when school had ended. Harry left his trunk in the hallway and went in hunt of his godfather, deciding to check the kitchen first.

Harry walked into the kitchen to almost stumble back in shock, as he was welcomed with streamers flying everywhere, a chorus's of "Surprise" and a kitchen full of well wishes. Sirius was grinning proudly at the front with Remus, Tonks, Moody, Hagrid and the Weasley's filling the remainder of the kitchen. Sirius strutted forward, smiling and looking much more like the handsome, confident youth Harry had seen in pictures along time ago, he pulled Harry close, kissed him on both cheeks and wrapped him in an ennmourus bear hug. Harry while shocked returned the hug with all his strength, barely hearing Sirius mutter quietly "Welcome home Harry" Harry's eyes started to water but was saved speaking as the rest of the party all rushed forwarding wanting to hug and talk to Harry. That night Harry had the best night of his young life, he drank a little bit too much fire whiskey that Sirius gave him, he danced with Ginny then Tonks and played games, laughed and enjoyed himself. Molly had cooked enough food for an army which her son's demolished as the night went on and before long people started to leave for the night.

Harry stood next to Sirius and saw everyone home through the floo network or out to the street to apparitate thanking them all sincerely, until just Remus remained. Remus turned to Harry smiling happier than he had ever seen his old professor look, which made him look much years younger and like Sirius much more similar to the younger versions Harry had in his album.

"Goodnight Harry" he smiled, Harry rushed forward throwing his arms around Remus's neck hugging him tightly before stepping back a little embarrassed.

"Goodnight Professor" A deep almost guttural chuckle answered Harry and looking up at Remus, he spoke

" I am no longer your Professor Harry, so please call me Remus or whatever you want. Rem, Remy, Moony, you use to call me Moon as a small child whatever makes you comfortable"

Harry nodded and watched Remus step into the fireplace and speak French declaring his destination as "maison de lupin"

Sirius turned to Harry excitedly exclaiming

"Would you like to see your room Harry?" Harry nodded again not trusting his voice and until laughter broke out of him as he raced after his godfather in dog form as he bonded up the stairs barking loudly.

Harry rushed up the two flights of stairs, around the corner and to the end of the hallway before stumbling into Sirius as he ran into the bedroom. The room itself was painted a warm neutral cream almost beige colour; the room was large with wooden floorboards covered in parts by thick rugs of colours of gold and browns with a door leading into a comfortable ensuite at the back. A large four-poster bed sat to one side with red curtains around it. He had a large wardrobe, beside tables, a dresser with a mirror in a rich wooden and gold frame and on the other side he noticed a large bookshelf, an arm chair in a light brown with a throw blanket that look exactly like one of Molly Weasley's knitted creations and coffee table then desk with a bird cage on a tall stand for Hegrid. All around the room as Harry walked he noticed more, the warm colours, the personal effects like his school books all on the bookshelf, personalised parchment with his name and above the desk a collection of muggle and wizarding photos of him and his friends. A few posters hung on the walls, one of Harry's favourite Quiddick team and a few still muggle posters of his favourite bands. On the dresser under the mirror he found one of the Sirius, Remus, James and Lily, one of James and Lily dancing at their wedding next to one of James and Lily with a 1-year-old looking Harry. Harry turned to face Sirius, who was watching him cautiously,

"You like it?" He asked, "Remus and I worked for days to get the room looking decent, it was my old room" Sirius explained

"Its amazing thank you" Harry quietly sobbed until Sirius pulled in flat against his chest and Harry cried openly holding the front of Sirius's robes tightly.

Harry sniffed loudly and laughed with embarrassment he looked at Sirius noticing he was wiping his eyes as well.

"Goodnight Harry I will be just at the other end near the stairs in what was my parent's room oh and we had trunk brought up its at the end of your bed"

Sirius left leaving Harry to slowly unpack his trunk and walk about his new room. Once half unpacked Harry showered in his new en suite and climbed into his new large bed, before sleep overcame him he thought to himself that he would do whatever he could to repay and thank his godfather for this. He had saved him from the Dursely's, giving him a family and a connection his parents, giving him a home in the wizarding world and Harry knew he would do anything to repay his love and kindness.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2-

Harry's time and summer was really passing quickly, between Order meetings and spending time with his friends now floo-ing wasn't a problem Harry spent many days and nights at The Burrow. Hermione stayed with Harry for a few nights and he spent a lot of time with his godfather, including shopping for his school supplies and having days out and about in both magical and muggle London. Harry and Sirius would talk for hours about his parents and the Marauder's growing up, Harry felt for the first time in his life like he was getting to know his parents. Remus would join them often, in between his missions that the order sent him, which made him uncontactable for days at a time. Harry knew those were the days when Sirius wasn't himself; he would be quiet and nervous preferring to stay in Grimmauld Place and wait to hear news from Remus. Not long after Remus was due to arrive back, Harry and Sirius were waiting with his favourite dinner cooked, steaks rare for him, chips and salad with chocolate mousse for dessert when Remus didn't show. Hours later Dumbledore was with them asking if they had heard from Remus as he had not, Remus had failed to check in with Dumbledore earlier in the week. Sirius started pacing the room, which helped his anxiety a little before Dumbledore left stating that if Remus appears to notify him immediately. Harry slept roughly that night and come morning found his godfather asleep on the lounge in front of the fire as if he had waited up for Remus to appear through the floo network. Harry made the both breakfast then gentle woke the older man. Sirius ate quietly before Harry broke the silence, speaking softly

"You love him don't you?" Sirius snorted on his tea he was drinking, choking for several moments before looking at Harry with steely watering eyes questionly

"Sorry Harry?" doubt and fear staring back at Harry.

"You love him, don't you? I can see it Sirius and I can see it in the old photos you have shown me. You love him!"

Sirius sighed and with a quaking voice answered simply

"Yes, all my life" Harry smiled reassuringly at him and nodded

"Why didn't you tell me, you know I wouldn't of thought different of you right? I mean you're my godfather and I don't care whether you were gay or straight"

"Thank you Harry" He answered softly "But it isn't a matter of tell you, there is nothing to tell" avoiding the green eyes he stared at the tabletop.

"He doesn't know?"

"No"

"What! Your Sirius Black famous Hogwarts charmer and womanizer"

Sirius gave a humorless laugh

"Exactly, the infamous man whore Sirius Black fell in love with him best friend and werewolf. Remus would never believe me or take me seriously, he use to joke that I was incapable of love and that I could ever be with someone for than a few months because I would get bored"

"You never dated anyone for long or get attached because." harry started

"They weren't Remus, yeah" Sirius finished

Harry stood up and pulled his godfather up into a firm hug.

"I'm sorry I'm such a mess Harry, I worry about him. He's doing dangerous work with dark creatures that aren't anything like him. He might be a werewolf but nothing about Rem is dark or evil and I worry until he's back again"

They spent the day cleaning; they spent the next set up Remus's room for his return and the next two trying to pass the time waiting anxiety for Remus to come through the floo, which he did not.

Another Order meeting arrived with the house filling up with members all of which were asking after and concerned about Remus. Harry looked at the members, most of the Weasleys including Charlie were seated, McGonagall, Tonks, Moody, Hestia Jones and Kingsley Shacklebolt also filled the basement kitchen, they sat down after the meeting for a serving of Molly's apple crumble, Harry had the spoon to his mouth before an patronus appeared, the small dragon flew in front of Dumbledore before a female voice spoke

"Albus, I have received a letter from him I will come through the floo in a moment unless I hear otherwise" Harry assumed the him was Remus and hurried after Sirius as he rushed into the lounge room and fireplace.

The fire turned green and Harry was surprise by the woman who stepped through. She was young, early twenties he guessed. She was short at 5ft 2 inches with a figure that Harry could only think to call "Curvy" She womanly shaped, with a natural pale perfection that looked sun kissed from working outside and had several dirty marks on her neck. She had large hazel eyes with long blonde/brown hair that fell to the base of her shoulder blades almost completely straight. She was dressed oddly, in white tank top rust orange wrap around skirt that reach just above her knees and muddy black gumboots. She walked over to Dumbledore, raised herself onto her toes and kissed him on the cheek

"Albus, the letter just arrived and I haven't opened it yet"

"A ever wise room my dear. A would suggest we read it quietly but everyone" he glanced around to the now full room "is most eager to hear from Remus. Would you read it out for us all"

The woman glanced around nervously then nodded, she cleared her throat and opened the battered and crumpled letter

"Dearest,

I cannot tell you much but I know you must be sick with worry. I am safe for now and I am trying to make my way back. Things did not go well and I have had to recover before I could travel, I will be home shortly darling if everything goes well, I will be at Padfoots first. Pass word on to our friend's. I will not have a chance to send word again but I will try to be home as soon as I can.

With love

Xoxo"

Harry had watched Sirius with great concern as the letter was read and Harry's heart sank for Sirius when the woman read the words 'Dearest, darling and with love'

The woman seemed overcome with emotions and took several steps back sniffing and wiping her eyes, she made a muffled sob, tears starting falling from her eyes and she went to sit down. She said down on top of Charlie, who looked startled, she kept crying and curled herself up onto Charlie's lap, sobbing quietly into Charlie's t-shirt as Charlie quietly and gently placed both arms around the mystery girl rubbing small circles in her back.

Dumbledore spoke, directing all members

"Remus's mission clearly has been comprised. And we are all concerned for his safety but we have been unable to locate or contact him before now. Thank you Edwina for bring us the letter" He offered his hand to the woman now named Edwina, who stood next to Dumbledore obediently

"This is Edwina Lupin" Sirius closed his eyes suddenly clearly in pain causing Harry to take hold of his hand supportively.

"Edwina is Remus's niece" The steely eyes popped open as quickly as they had closed

"Edwina has lived with Remus since she was a small child though technically as far as the ministry is concern doesn't" Confusion sounded on most of the member's faces

"Why?" Asked Tonks who was looking at Edwina with harsh eyes before Edwina answered

"Werewolves are not allowed to adopt or be a child's guardian. They are rarely allowed to keep there own children if they lucky enough to have any. They cannot marry or purchase property. The ministry doesn't acknowledge Remus legally as even my Uncle let alone guardian or even my adoptive father who he is" She spoke directly eying Tonks off before turning to face everyone in the room

"Papa has told me about you all, Sirius?" She asked looking at Sirius and walked over as Sirius stood taken hold of the hand Harry had released

Sirius looked at the woman

"Sirius I feel like I have known you as long as I have known Papa he use to tell me stories of the marauders at bedtime and I feel like I know you so well and have always called you oncle. Papa always comes here after his missions and I am begging you please can I stay here until he returns?" She asked with tears in her eyes

Sirius answered in a gruff uneven voice

"Of course, Edwina, Remus spoke of you constantly. You are more than welcome here" Edwina threw herself into Sirius's chest and held on tightly

"It is time for us to leave, goodnight everyone" Dumbledore announced and the Order quickly dispersed either by floo or out the front door to apparate.

All that remained were Sirius, Remus, Charlie and Harry; Charlie had a late night shift for the order in London so instead of aparrating in and out he occasionally crashed at Grimmauld Place. Edwina faced Harry with tears streaming down her face

"I'm sorry Harry, please don't think I'm stealing your godfather away from you, I will be out of here once Papa comes home"

Harry smiled at the newcomer who was so concerned about ruffling feathers.

"Your worried about your Dad, I am worried about him too. Your welcome here anytime just like your Dad is Edwina" Harry smiled

"Call me Ed or Eddie, Papa only called me Edwina when he's angry with me"

"Okay Eddie, tea?" Sirius asks offering her his arm in fake chivalry.

"Oh Merlin yes, thought you'd never ask" She chuckled taking his arm walking out with Sirius who started strutting causing her to let out a giggle before swinging her hip and joining him in a strut to the kitchen. Harry has left before him and no one had noticed Charlie whose eyes were glued to Eddie's behind as she wiggled out of the lounge room and into the kitchen. He shook his head, grinned to himself then joined the small party in the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day Harry arose early and walked into the kitchen finding as he expected Sirius with a cup of tea in front of him looking deep in thought. Open in front of him was an old worn and mistreated photo album showing a photo of Remus and Sirius at his parent's wedding. The photo showed James and Lily on one side, Lily in front smiling happily wrapped in James arms. Sirius had an arm slung over James shoulder and his other placed around Remus's shoulder. The magical photo showed them laughing and swaying gently from side to side, the Sirius in the image glanced at Remus ackwardly then replaced his arm to the blonde's waist pulling Remus closer and grinning happily at James brieftly before looking back at the camera.

"Dad knew didn't he?" Harry suddenly realised

"Oh yes, he knew. He mooned over Lily for years and I over Remus. Difference is James won Lily in the end"

"Dad was okay with you being hmm" Harry ended ackwardly

"Homosexual, yes he was supportive. He wasn't that comfortable with it but was fine once I reassured him I didn't find him attractive" Sirius laughed suddenly

"Thought he was so good looking that he assumed I would of fancied him, once I told him I was madly in love with Remus he was fine. At the wedding we were all so happy" Sirius barking laugh echoed in the kitchen again "I asked him to dance after one to many fire whiskeys, we were dancing to some horribly face paced song when it ended and a slow song came on, I jokingly asked asked him to sway with me and he surprised me saying since he didn't anyone to dance with beside me so sure. I got to dance with the man I loved since before we were 12 and before I even understood any of it, I was in heaven Harry I almost told him then chicken out at the last minute"

"He'll be back soon Sirius don't worry, he sounded fine in the letter to Eddie"

"Yeah I hope he comes soon, don't know how much more of this I can handle"

"Me neither" came Eddie's voice from the door way, she walked in and sat heavily down on the end of the table. She picked up Sirius's tea and blew on it gently before shallowing a mouth full and handing it back to him.

Sirius grinned at the young woman before him "Funny Remus drinks my tea all the time, I can't stand it"

"Ahh he taught me well" She answered cheekily "You boys hungry I'm pretty handy in the kitchen?"

She walked over to the kitchen and waved her wand causing the pots and pan to spring to life. A short time later Harry and Sirius discovered that Eddie was in fact very gifted in the kitchen. He was in Harry's opinion the third best cook he had ever experienced, just behind Molly and the Hogwarts elves.

She smiled as the boys ate heartily and after receieving complements from Sirius she asked happily

"I learnt quickly, Papa is a horrible cook but eats like a well like a werewolf"

She continues chucking "Where is hmm Charlie?"

"He had late night guard shift, he is probably up in bed still"  
"Oh I'll take him up breakfast he must be hungry from that" She flicked her wand and a plate assembled, juice and coffee appeared on a tray that floated behind her as she went back upstairs.

Eddie knocked on the door and a grunt answered her, she opened the door after taking hold of the tray and peaked into the room

"Charlie?" She found Charlie sititng up in bed with a book sitting besides him, blanket pooled down around his waist and shirtless above it. She noticed with an apprecaitve eye the firm and muscler chest, the tattoo that covered his upper arm disappearing over his shoulder and noticed the few scars that covered his chest, shoulders and arms.

"I brought you some breakfast, figured you might be hungry but tired so you can eat and relax in bed" She smiled

"Thank you Eddie, that's awesome" Charlie answered grinning up at the pretty young woman. She flicked her wand and a table tray appeared in front of Charlie. She walked over and placed the plate, glass and coffee mug on the tray

"I've been told your Mum is the world's best cook but I couldn't have you go hungry" She glanced at the book at Charlie's side

"Oh, I've read that! Professor Hamlin writes so well especially on Romainian, it was so fasinating his opinion on Romainin culture and his work with the ridgebacks" She gushed, Charlie stared at the woman with his mouth full of food, which was in fact absolutely fantastic like his Mum's cooking, she was beautiful, a great cook and now she had some form of interest in Romainia and or dragons. Wow! Charlie shallowed quickly and asked eagerly before gulping down some orange juice.

"Your interested in Romaina?"

"Oh yes, I just got back from Romaina I was there for 3 months, working anyway I'll let you eat" She turned to leave but Charlie stopped her saying

"Really? Wait, join me a minute" Charlie signalled to the arm chair, Eddie sat down and looked at Charlie

"Yeah I was working at the northern reserve, they hire me occasionally when they have a new dragon arriving or a birth due"

"You're a dragon trainer?"

"Oh no, I'm a trained mediwitch actually but they hire me as an consultant"

"I don't understand?"

"I'm a _Lingua-orator_ so they hire me when they need a hand settling the dragons"

"Oh wow! I heard they had a dragon translator there but I thought it was a myth, a little north, south rivalry story ya know? I work at the southern reserve as one of the dragon trainers"

"Oh no way! I toured there before coming home, that is one amazing facility Charlie, It's the leading reserve and has the leading experts on dragons there. It has completely altered the dragon breeding program and magical medical field"

Charlie chuckled, shallowed another mouth full of food before speaking

"Yeah I work on the breeding program mostly with Ian Henrik , it's a fantastic place to work and enjoy it every day"

"Hey so would know Andrei?"

"Yeah! We trained together straight from school, we're pretty good friends, how do you know him"

She laughed

"Papa and I rented a place from his parent years back now, when I was a teen. We lived there for about 6 months and Andrei and I became good friends, we still keep in touch and visit"

"You lived in Romania as a teen?"

"No I travelled as a teen, being Lingua challenged it was earlier for me to learn in the cultures that spoke the languages"

Charlie hadn't a chance to answer before a loud voice boomed up the stairs magically amplified

"Eddie!"


	4. Chapter 4

Eddie ran out of the room and Charlie could hear her footsteps bonding down the stairs, Eddie ran into the lounge room and skidded to a halt at the sight before her.

Sirius had Remus under the arms who was unconscious, she rushed forwards but Sirius shook his head at her and easily picked up the smaller man who as Eddie looked closer she saw his clothing was covered in mud and filth, he had dried blood down one arm and covering part of his face. She rushed up stairs before them into Remus's room; spreading out the bed cover and waving her wand produced a medi kit besides it. Sirius came up behind her and placed Remus carefully down on the bed, he looked at Eddie with scared pained eyes and asked with heartfelt sincerely

"Can you fix him? Please fix him" Eddie placed an arm on his and motioned to the armchair to the side.

"I'll do my best Sirius, take a seat since I know you won't leave him, you guys too I guess?" She glanced at Harry and Charlie in the doorway. Harry nodded and entered the room before Charlie who waved his wand creating two additional armchairs either side of original.

Sirius sunk into the chair heavily watching Eddie intensively as she started working, firstly removing the filth and mud covered clothing but thankfully thought Sirius he magiced a pair of boxers onto Remus's thin frame. Eddie waved her wands over Remus's unconscious body, causing a white light to spring out of her wand and starting at Remu's head circled it several times before travelling down the rest of his body, slowly circling it healing minor cuts as it went. She next pulled out several vials of potions she would get him to drink once he regained conciseness, then she placed her wand directly and deeply into the large open wounds on Remus's and muttering under her breath stitches slowly appear, tightening the wounds close. Another flick saw the bandages and large band-aid's fly out of the medi kit and start wrapping or placing themselves over the large wounds. Sighing she stepped back up to Remus's shoulder as he let out a deep, low, rumbling groan that started everyone but Eddie and Sirius.

He slowly opened his eyes and looked into Eddie's own muddy hazel eyes that mirrored his own before speaking,

"Eddie darling?" His voice was rough, deep and oddly harsh for the words he was speaking

"What are you doing here sweetheart?" He sat up, winced slightly as he did looking at her more intensely

"I was waiting to patch up you, you old bugger" She smiled

A deep almost barking growl chuckle answered her before she picked up the first of the vials and handed them to Remus

"Now drink up like a good patient" Remus pulled a face at the vial then back at Eddie

"If you don't drink it willingly I will have Sirius pin you down so I can pour them down your throat" She smiles sweetly while Sirius's eyes almost popped out of his head and he tried to shake the image of him pinning Remus onto the bed out of his head.

Remus downed the potion in one swift gulp, sighing instantly as the pain potion look effect. She handed him another which he sighed again before taking obediently, the general pick me up potion didn't do much for his wounds but improved his colouring and state of mind. She placed a kiss on each of his cheeks gently, before wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him in a careful hug

"I was so worried Papa! Please never do that again, I love you so much!"

Remus leaned back and looked up at his niece come honorary adoptive daughter

"I'm sorry I worried you Eddie-girl. I love you too" He placed a kiss on her forehead.

"I wasn't the only one worried out of my mind Papa," She stated glancing over her shoulder at the anxious looking Sirius and concerned looking Harry.

"I'm going to make you some thing light to eat like soup and toast before you are taking the sleeper healer potion, no arguments, Ill be back soon, I'm sure Sirius can look after you until then, I've left the bruise cream on the bedside can you cover his bruising in it Sirius and I'll bring up you something to sleep in once its done" She walked out with Charlie following behind her before disappearing into his own room to shower and dress and Harry who followed her into the kitchen helping her make up a broth soup for Remus leaving the werewolf and the ex prisoner alone.

"Merlin's balls Remus, you had me scared" Sirius exclaimed loudly once the rest had gone,

Once again Remus's deep growl chuckle answered

"I'm sorry Sirius I really plan on it going horribly wrong, but thank you for your concern" His words flowed easily but still sounded rough, harsh and deep.

Sirius smiled broadly at Remus "I love it when you talk with your actual voice" Sirius stated while adding to himself "I love everything about you"

Remus laughed, a sudden, guttural and feral, wild sounding,

"I'm too sore to try to cover it Sirius, so I guess you will hear it for a while longer. Though you know why I hide it, it easily identifies me as an werewolf and besides that it freaks out most people, its easier for them to accept me as a werewolf when I sound and act just like them, otherwise I sound and look like a dark creature"

"Oh nonsense Remus, you are the same, gentle book loving, mutli lingual wizard you always have been, regardless whether you talk with your natural voice or not and don't get me started on your natural reflects and mannerisms. They are all apart of who you are and I don't think they make you seems dark at all, it sounds the real you and I am friends with the real you as well the version you show Harry and the children"

"Thank you Sirius, your insane but luckily I don't like sane people, they are nothing short of dull" Remus smiled showing several sharp pointed back teeth.

Sirius laughed happily and walked over to Remus's bedside, he pulled Remus into a hug, wrapping his arms around Remus's small waist.

"Never scare me like that again Moony, I can't lose you, your all I have left"

Remus nodded against his friend's chest.

Sirius cleared his throat, stepped back from Remus and picked up the bruise cream

"Okay Remy, lay down and I'll get this crap lacquered on your bruises"

"Its fine Sirius don't bother"

"Don't be difficult Rem, personally I don't want to piss off that daughter of yours she looks like a fiery one, like her old man I guess. Now lay down and shut up"

"Sirius"

"No Rem please let me help you. Please let me do this" Sirius pleaded

Remus didn't answer but laid down on his stomach exposing several large black and purple angry looking bruises.

"Merlin Moony" Sirius exclaimed before getting to work covering Remus's bruises in the healing and numbing cream. Remus would hiss and groan occasionally as Sirius had to press gently down on the bruises, Sirius would make smoothing shushing sounds and offered apologises as he worked. Remus turned over, closed him eyes and let Sirius rub the cream into his shoulders and arms before Sirius took a deep breath and started on his chest.

Sirius gently rubbed the cream into the bruises that covered Remus's deeply scared chest, hating that the bruises covered his loves beautiful chest. Sirius didn't see the scars as ugly like Remus did, he saw each scar as beautiful, they showed how Remus's body had healed countless times after transformations, they showed how Remus's mind had defeated his infliction and how his spirit endured this horrible curse that he did not deserve. Once each bruise was covered Sirius helped the sore Remus back into a sitting position and sat on the beds other side. He talked quietly filling Remus up on the Order while he had been gone, Harry and the children in general about the summer activities, Eddie's arrival and he grinned he's certainty of Charlie fondness of Remus's pretty daughter, laughing happily at the look of disapproval in Remus's face.

"Really?" He asked eying Sirius sternly fatherly concern showing through his pain filled hazel eyes.

"Oh yeah, I can't blame Moony, Merlin I think Harry is a little smitten as well. She's one amazing woman, feisty, pretty, curves in all the places, talented, smart and a wonderful cook"

"She is all that and more but don't you even think about it Paddy, I will have a word with Charlie and Harry for that matter but I will physically hurt you if you even look at Eddie" Remus declared, eyes shining, sharp teeth showing and his deep rough voice pushing Sirius to breaking point

"Fuck Remus! How blind can a guy get? I'm gay you idiot! Always have been! And I wouldn't touch Eddie no matter how wonderful she is, she is your daughter for Merlin's sake and your are the most important person I have in the world I wouldn't jeopardise our friendship" Sirius snaps back in anger before the realisation of his words, fear flooded him, his face paled and he looked at Remus with horror

"Your what?" Remus asked

"I'm gay Remus, I always have been but I dated a few too many girls in Hogwarts before I was willing to accept or acknowledge it. I am not proud of using those girls in my self discovery but the summer before our final year I realised"

"You didn't date in final year, you said you were sick of the same old girls since you refused to date girls younger than 4th year"

"I lied Remus, I was unsure about myself that year I made that up so that people didn't talk. How could I tell all those girls I was gay and had been thinking about a man when I had been with them?"

"You would have been the most hexed boy in Hogwarts"

"Exactly, do you hate me Rem?" Sirius asked with pleading eyes

"James knew didn't he?" Remus asked slowly putting the piece together

"Yes I told him end of our summer before final year. He said he had his suspicions but I doubt it, he asked if I fancied him and once I told him he wasn't my type he was fine. Bloody sod always use to ask me in the street who I found attractive!" Sirius gushed gently laughing at the end.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Remus asked locking Sirius's grey eyes with his own

"I tried Rem, I have wanted to but I never found the right time to tell you before it all when to shit and since James said Lily guess I thought you might have as well"

"Me guess Sirius Black infamous Hogwarts womaniser and man whore is actually gay?"

"Yes your meant to be the smart one Rem"

"I might have after Hogwarts"

"What! You knew and never said anything?"

"Either did you! I figure you would tell me when you were ready"

"Bloody hell Remus! Consider yourself told, it just took as over 13 years to get around to it"

Remus smiled at his friend, showing those sharp canine teeth and laughed openly, he never bothered to hide his natural mannerism and traits from Sirius. Sirius had asked early on about them and after discussing them demanded Remus never hid himself when they were alone. Remus respected his friend for not being intimidated or a little uneasy with Remus in his natural state.

Sirius naturally loved that side of Remus, seeing him so comfortable with himself, moving confidently talking openly and being his true though slightly wolfy self. Sirius loved Remus's deep rough voice that never sounded flued like his other one, he guttural chuckle when he was amused and his wild, growling laugh. He loved his sharp teeth and wide grin when he smiled naturally, he loved Remus as truly Remus not the protective shield he on around other people.

"Okay Sirius consider me told" Remus laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

Eddie had walked downstairs after leaving her Papa in the capable hands of Sirius, she was sure Papa was going to be unimpressed with her for that but she couldn't resist leaving her dear Papa to be nursed by the man he loved. He had always told her about Sirius and told her early on growing up that he was gay and that he loved his best friend until he had betrayed them all and leaving him broken hearted and completely alone. She shook her head at the memories when they both thought Sirius had been guilty Papa had called her his angel, saving him from his depression and loneliness where he had been since Sirius imprisonment and the death of the Potters and Peter. He had nothing to live for and had been living in an alcohol-induced hell for almost a year before she had ended up on her Uncle's doorstep as a toddler abandoned and needing him as much as he needed a reason to live.

She smiled evilly to herself as she entered the kitchen with Harry trailing behind her; she turned to Harry and asked

"How about Chicken and veg soup Harry?"

"Sounds good, how can I help?"

"Wonderful Harry! Girls love a man who can help or cook in the kitchen. I'll teach you something nice to impress the ladies with maybe tomorrow but for now can you cut up these"

She flicked her wand and a huge pile of vegetables in front of Harry on the kitchen table. She flicked her wand a second time floating a whole chicken through the air into a pot that came from the other direction, water filled the pot, varied herbs and spices dropped and shook themselves into the pot and started simmering away on the stove top.

"This is a lot of vegetables Ed? I can call you Ed right?"

"Sure Harry, Ed, Eddie, Edda whatever you like honey. Its a lot of veg because while a light meal for Papa he still eats more than probably you and Me together maybe Charlie too"

"Why?" Harry asked confused

"It's a werewolf thing Harry, they have incredible appetites because of there fast metabolisms which runs with there increased senses, strength and reflects mix that with there different mannerisms and enhanced speed all outside of the actual transformation causes werewolf to eat like crazy" She laughed

"I didn't know that" Harry exclaimed finding it odd that he had never seen Remus show any of those traits

"He doesn't show his natural traits because they are such werewolf like traits, he hides them for safety reasons there are a lot of wizards and witches that would hex and kill Papa he they realized he was a werewolf so he doesn't show his natural self "

Harry nodded dumbly, feeling sure that Hermione would of known all this and perhaps he should have paid more attention in DADA while continuing into cut up the vegetables by hand.

Eddie flicked her hand happily cutting the rest instantly and they all jumped into the bubbling pot, she was gently swaying from side to side while humming to the music that was playing on the old radio in the corner. She had her back to the door of the kitchen opposite Harry who was on the other side of the kitchen island, Charlie walked into the kitchen stopping short staring at Eddie as she slowly shaked her hips from side to side, Eddie exclaimed loudly over her shoulder as the song changed

"OH I love this song, it's an old classic Papa use to play when I was little. Dance with me Harry!" She stepped around the island holding her hands out to Harry.

Harry smiled nervously shaking his head "I can't dance"

"Of course you can Harry, I'll teach you an easy waltz" She laughed stepping closer "One hand on my waist the other up, that's it and one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three" Eddie repeated calmly teaching Harry the steps.

"Right now all you do is lead where you want your lady to follow, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three. Easy right" Harry was grinning as he gained more confidence with his steps, Eddie laughed as Harry turned them around smiling happily at Charlie who was laughing to himself. Eddie and Harry danced around the kitchen twice before Eddie felt a tap on her shoulder; Charlie was smiling again at the two of them

"Can I cut in?" Bowing slightly and offering his hand

"Why thank you"

Eddie giggled she kissed Harry on the cheek causing the teen to blush and gave her hand to Charlie; Harry sat down and watched as Charlie spun, twirled and danced Eddie around the kitchen with apparent ease. Eddie sung along with the song quietly, while Charlie smiled and occasional muttered something into Eddie ear that made her laugh. Charlie dipped her down low and pulling her back upright he kissed her hand as the song concluded before sitting next to Harry around the table and Eddie went back to the soup pot.

Eddie waved her wand, causing a bowl to fill with soup, toast to appear on a plate next to it and a large glass of iced water as well as a cup of tea with sugar and milk filled the last of the space of the tray that hovered next to her.

"I'll take Papa is lunch and be right back. He will sleep straight after from the potion and I'll come down with Sirius and we can eat" The boys nodded and Eddie went back up the stairs to stand outside the door and hear Sirius exclaim that her Papa was blind and how could he not of realized Sirius was in fact gay, she waiting for a natural pause in the conversation and hearing Remus state that he was no well and truly informed she counted to ten before knocking on the door, she entered once a answer responded and placed the tray in front of Remus with a cheek on his cheek

"Chicken and vegetable soup, toast with tons of butter, water with ice and finally tea, three sugars and milk, eat up then take your potion"

Remus rolled his eyes affectionately at Eddie

"Yes Edwina" He smiled before eating like a man who hadn't eaten in weeks, Sirius chuckled behind her asking

"So his table manners never improved huh?"

"These are his table manners" Ed shrugged

Remus ignored both of them and continued to eat heartily, Eddie informed Sirius that there were tons of soup downstairs and she will come down once she had Remus settled in bed fast asleep.

Sirius reluctantly left to join Harry and Charlie in the kitchen, he had reassured them that Remus was fine if only a little under fed and sore before Eddie re entered with empty dishes, Eddie sat down with a 'humpf' rubbing her temples for a moment before standing back up and facing the men

"Okay, soup and toast all round" Her smile was a little tight and she clearly seemed tired before firm hands applied pressure on her shoulders pushing her back down into her seat

"We got this don't we boys" Sirius stated, Harry and Charlie stood instantly springing into action. Sirius waving his wand filled bowls with steaming soup, Charlie toasted an entire loaf of bread and buttered it with another wave and Harry filled a jug of water carrying it over and placing glasses on the table. Eddie sighed as she happily picked up a piece of toast from the plate in front of her, she swoshed she wand causing the chicken and flavoring to disappear

"Vegetarian?" Sirius enquired

"Yes, well if I can talk to it I can't eat it" She stated

"Talk to it?" harry asked

"I'm a _Lingua-orator," _She explained before Sirius spoke looking at Harry who still looked confused

" It means gift of tongues, the gift of language, different witches or wizards have different degrees of talent, some can talk one language, several or all human based languages others can communicate to animals or magical creatures and a rare few can do all of it"

"Depending on the translation, I prefer 'gifted tongue'" She winked at Sirius who laughed

"So what can you speak?" Harry eagerly asked

"All of it" Eddie smiled back

"It means I can also mimic, copy and imitate voices"

"Really" Harry exclaimed

"Really" Eddie answered back perfectly mimicking Harry's surprise.

"WOW" Harry smiled

Eddie laughed before continuing with her soup and toast, the happy little party laughed and finished there meal before Charlie and Harry cleaned up and sent both Eddie and Sirius to have a nap as both looked clearly exhausted. After promising they would wake both if Remus's stirred they went off to sleep for a few hours, each clearly relieved and happy Remus had returned to them.


	6. Chapter 6

That evening after waking from their respective naps Sirius and Eddie found themselves sitting in the sitting room while Harry and Charlie cooked dinner

"Should I be worried about food poisening?" Eddie smiled

"Nah Harry had to cook for his Uncle and Aunt when he lived with them so we should be safe, though I don't like how we are barred from entering" Sirius mumbled, put out from not being included, he walked over to the bar pulling out two butter beers and handed one to Eddie

"You drink right" Sirius questioned

"Naturally" She opened the drink before holding it up for Sirius

"To Papa, safe and sound with those he loves" Eddie toasted

"To Remus" Sirius echoed taking a large swig of the beer with those who love him he thought.

"Sirius, tell me about Papa growing up, he talked so much about you and James but never himself, I don't know anything about him in Hogwarts"

"Remus was excately the same" He smiled happily thinking back and remembering those innocent times

"I met him on the train first year James and I were looking for a compartment after James pulled a prank, we found Remus alone in the last carriage. He looked so scared and little, he was small and thin, James introduced himself stating he was the magesficate talent James Potter then I did saying I was the one and only Sirius Black, ladiesman and prank king but he didn't respond. So I asked him if he was mute Remus looked at me smiled and said he had been taught to speak only if you could improve the silence clearly something I had not been taught, James starts laughing and I told him I decided I liked him, we should be friends.

He looked at us and asked if we meant it, sure I said and he introduced himself. He was so timid and shy to begin with but we realized he was scared of losing our friendship if we found out about his little problem"

" He was one of the most talented wizards I knew then and still is now, he worked hard and saved our asses often from punishments. He would come up with the best pranks but refuse to do them, giving me and james the glory." Sirius smiled

Eddie returned the smile to Sirius before asking "Do you have any photos? Papa only has a few from his school days and they mostly don't have himself in them"

With a flick of his wand several large but worn albums appeared on the table

Eddie walked over and opening it saw a 11 year old Remus all small and fragile looking over a tall pile of books on a table which covered his entire torso and neck and feet of long parchment spread out to one side, ink pots and quills covering everything else, the Remus of the photo was shaking his head at the camera before Sirius appeared reached and pulled the parachament away from him and running out of the photo, Remus rushed out of shot before returned a moment later stting back down and Sirius reappears rubbing his head and defeated were Remus must of hit him . The next was Remus around 13, this Remus had grown considerably, shooting up to tower over his peers but becoming stick thin, lanky and all sharp angles and jutting out bones he was sitting in the great hall with a large over following heaped plate of food in front of him, cheeks full of food looking at the camera surprised and nodding showing he was listening to the person behind the camera while destracted a hand appears attempting to steal a lamb chop off his plate, while still watching the camera person and eating he swiftly stabs the hand on his plate before continuing to shovel food into his mouth smiling briefly in the direction of where the hand came from.

"That really hurt you know, let a scar too" Sirius showed her his hand which did have a very small scar on it "learnt me lesson never tried to steal food of Rem again"

"Wise lesson! Papa would sell organs for a steak"

"Only someone else's" Answered from the doorway

"What are you doing up?" A female and male voice demanded from the otherside of the room

"Slept the potion all off, besides I got hungry"

Remus's stomach growled threatenly confirming his statement, he placed a hand on his stomach over his worn white t shirt with a few holes in it. Sirius looked over his friend and secret love of him life, his colour had returned enough that he didn't look sickly only pale like usual, he was slightly hunched shoulders showing like pain or uncomfort but seemed greatly improved. He had already noticed how nicely the tshirt showed Remus figure off while the old torn jeans clung to the right places, he was bare foot and his hair was long enough to flick out at the sides and skim the top of his shoulders in slight waves Eddie walked over and kissed her father on each cheek happily

"Papa!"

"Don't Papa me, I took your potions and am up for company and food" He smiled

"Alright! I have no interest in arguming with a hungry Papa! Ill check if dinner is ready" Eddie left and entred the kitchen.

"How you feeling Rem?" Sirius asked looking concered at his friend

"Fine Sirius, good as new"

"Liar" Sirius stated as he handed him a glass of fire whiskey to which Remus threw back in one gulp

"Better now" He added "Thank you for letting Ed stay these last few days"

"I would of like to of met her under different circumstances but I am glad I did since I have been wondering why you haven't brough her round before now, you embrassed by me?" He joked

"No, I was protecting her I guess, old habits and all that. She changed her name to Lupin when she came of age and I have been so worried people will make the connection"

"Sure Rem, you were just worried I would tell her all your embrassing stories, which I have, while you were sleeping" Sirius smiled as he walked into the kitchen followed by Remus.

The kitchen was full of the rich smells of lamb, rosemary and roasting vegetables all of which filled up the large wooden table in the kitchen. Lamb shanks cooked with mint, rosemary roasted potatoe and pumpkin, gravy, mushrooms in garlic and butter, peas, corn on the cob and freshly baked bread rolls. Jugs of water and Coke sat on either end as well. Remus let out a hungry growl with caused Harry to look at his startled, Sirius smiled and Eddie was ready walkig to the table flicking her wand casuing plates and cutlery to appear.

"Harry did you do this" Remus asked, voice smooth and soft again

"Yes all but the bread"

"Bloody fantastic" Remus picked up a plate and Eddie quickly placed a hand on it stopped Remus who looked at her with thin squinting eyes clearly unimpressed

"Let them eat first Papa" Harry looked at her puzzled

The boys served themselves as did Eddie before Remus was allowed to approach the table which explained to Harry why he was last, he pile his plate as high as possible and cleaned out several dishes of all food, drowning the entire thing in gravy and eating four bread rolls at an fast messy speed. Eddie didn't acknowledge Remus eating habits or amount, neither did Sirius so Harry figured it was normal behavior though he never saw Remus eat like that when he has been at Grimmuald place previously.

"Don't worry Harry, remember what I told you in the kithen?" Eddie asked

Harry nodded remembering that werewolf's eat far more food than regular witches and wizards. Remus looked up suddenly at Eddie then Harry questionly, he sighed put down his knige and fork

"I am sorry if I have startled you Harry, hopefully Eddie explained werewolf's when in human form have very fast metabolisms and very large stomachs and appetties that mean we eat far more than normal wizards and more often"

"Don't worry professor Eddie explained already but why has your voice changed back?" harry asked still puzzled

"Your truly James' son, generally I talk like this for safety reasons as it helps me keep my furry little problem a secret from everyday witches and wizards also some people find my natural self a little unsettling and it's a constant reminder that I am a dark creature"

A bread roll hit Remus in the head with enough force that it bounced off and fell into the entry of the table

"Call yourself a dark creature again and I will throw something much worst than a bread roll at you!" Sirius snapped angrily

"Professor" Harry started

"Remus Harry, call me Remus"

"Fine, Remus I don't care that you are a werewolf, Eddie doesn't, Sirius doesn't and neither does Charlie hell no one in the order really minds, you are still the smartest professor I have had and the nicest as well. You taught me to produce the patronus and you are my Dad and godfathers best friend, I wouldn't care if turned into a gremlin once a month"

Remus whose eyes had been looking down at his plate looked up with watery eyes "Thank you Harry"

"So" harry continued "You don't hide yourself from Eddie or Sirius and I would really like it if you didn't from me, I want to know you and that means the real you, the you Sirius knows and my Dad knew"

Remus with tears sliding down his eyes merely nodded

Harry beamed happily at Remus before Eddie threw herself into Harry, arms wrapped around his neck, sitting side saddle on his lap while crying quietly and muttering to Harry how wonderful and sweet he was. Harry looked desperately at Sirius for help but it was Remus who sighed and got up leaving Sirius to continue laughing.

"Alright Ed, don't scare the poor boy" He prided Eddie arms of Harry placing them onto his shoulder as he bent down and using one arm scooped Ed out up out of Harry's lap onto his shoulder into a fireman's hold, head over his shoulder facing away from the table leaving her behind facing the boys.

"Put me down your hairy thug" Eddie kicked and yelled.

"I fail to see how me being hairy has anything to do with it?" Remus laughed honestly, sudden, gutteral and deep.

"If you don't put me down I will wax for when your sleeping and trust me waxing hurts. I will wax you when you are weak from the full moon, your hairy chest, your hairy arms and then your legs dam it I will even wax your eyebrows"

Remus continued to laugh, walked forwards and exclaiming "Paddy catch"

tipped Eddie off of his shoulders into Sirius's lap, Eddie let out an 'oompf' Sirius exclaiming 'shit'.

"Oh and Charlie" Remus states as he walked out of the kitchen "try to stop staring at my daughters ass"


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius followed Remus into the sitting room, found him flipping through the albums Sirius had left out for Eddie.

"Merlin Sirius, I can't believe you kept these. You were such a noscene with that camera"

Sirius grinned cheekily "I was a very talented photographer"

"You were horrid Pads, look half of these aren't even in focus"

Remus pointed to one for example, Sirius blushed remembering the day it was taken. Sixth year and it was just before summer break and the day had turned as hot as a summer day, James decided a swim in the great lake was needed. He and Remus had rushed down to the lake removing their uniform as they went, Sirius had refused to swim as it would ruining his hair which he spent a good half hour styling perfectly. Sirius had become fixated on Remus has he ran into the lake, stripping down to his shorts, it was one of the rare times he had seen Remus without a shirt. Remus always hid himself, changing behind his bed curtain and using the showers early in the morning before anyone had woken. James and Remus drived in and splashed about before Remus returned to shore and this was when Sirius had snapped the photo. Remus emerged from the water dripping wet, laughing and smiling looking to Sirius as the most beautiful man ever. His fair hair sleeked back shining gold in the sun, his pale chest heaving with laughter, scars covering most of his chest and arms with a thick light brown hair covering the rest from nipples to belly button and thining down before disappearing entirely under his shorts that was wet and clinging to his legs. Sirius was battling many emotions at this time, lust, desire, fear, confusion and want. He had quickly picked up his muggle Polaroid camera he had brought the summer before and snapped a photo of Remus, the photo was blurred as he had taken the photo suddenly with shaking hands. He had cursed himself wishing he had brought his magical camera so the photo would of cleared focus and Remus would continue to walk and smile at the camera.

Sirius had kept that photo to himself for years, falling asleep holding the photo and locking it safely away in his trunk. Coming back to reality Sirius panicked, picked up the photo before facing Remus

"Well it took me awhile to get the hang of the muggle camera"

Remus chuckled, turning the pages smiling at himself as he remembered moments, events and days long passed.

Remus plucked the photo out of Sirius's hand studied it carefully.

"Merlin, look at my scwanly teenage self" He laughed "Why did you keep it I would rather forget my awkward years"

"You weren't awkward Remus" Sirius soothed

"I hit 6 ft 2 inches at 13 years olds, I was all lanky limbs and protruding bones. You seemed to survive Hogwarts without a single awkward moment"

Sirius laughed bitterly

"I had them Rem, Merlin did I have them not on the outside but on the inside I was more awkward than every boy in Hogwarts"

"You, the famous Sirius Black womanizer and prankster, awkward?"

Sirius could feel his temper rising, did everyone need to bring up his school experient ways, yes he slept with many girls before admitting to himself that he was indeed gay.

"You were teen pin up perfect Pads, tall, broad, & fit. The girls swooned as you walked past, one look and any girl would fall at your knees. You dressed imaculikely and had hair that was never out of place" Remus laughed, he opened his mouth to continue but Sirius snapped

"And a fat lot of good it did me" He yelled throwing his arms up in the air

"I did my hair every dam day, kept myself fit and dressed well but it never worked. I felt insuperior"

"To who Sirius?" Remus ask confused

"You!" Sirius bellowed, losing all control or reserve "you were so fucking perfect, smart, funny, talented and the most gorgous kid in Hogwarts, I just wanted to to notice me, look at me once like those ditzy girls with attraction in their eyes. I did all that trying to make myself as attractive as I was too you.I wanted it to be you when I was snogging them, I wanted to hold you all night in our dorm and tell you that I loved you since before I realized it"

"Me?"

"Yes you Remus John Lupin! Your bloody blind git, everyone else saw it, I was madly in love with you since fifth year and I fancied you way before that"

"You were the womanizer of Hogwarts…" Remus started

"I was confused Remus! I was born into a messed up family, I was a disgrace for being a gryindor I told homosexualilty was wrong and my mother would of killed me if I was"

"Sirius I.."

"That's why I left home Rem, Regulus told my mother that rumours had started about me being gay, she cursed me and I left turning up on James' doorstep bloody and rejected by my family"

"Sirius, I…"

"Don't Rem, I have loved you for years and to me you are so dam wonderful I never told you because I knew you wouldn't believe me, you don't believe me do you?"

"Sirius I not saying I don't believe you but.."

"See you don't believe me!" Sirius exclaimed waving his hands in the air in frustration.

"Siri calm down we can talk, school is horrible for most people and I understand you keeping it quiet because of your parents but maybe you misinterpreted your feelings. It a type of love but not a romantic love, you loved James right"

"Like blood, he was my brother"

"Excatly, it might be like that, deep love on a brotherly level that confused you because it was slightly different to James'"

"No" cut in Sirius fierstly

"And after losing James, peter being a traitor, your time in prison you missed that connection of friendship and love"

"No" Sirius exclaimed

"Siri"

"You have no idea what it does to me when you call me that" Sirius explained desperately, tears forming in his eyes

"Sirius, you have suffered more than most wizards and I am happy you told me about your sexuality finally but"

"You don't think I can love you do you?" He sadly asked

"No Sirius I don't think you love me in a romantic sense I think you are confusing brotherly affection for love"

"No, I love you"

"As a friend, brother and closest confident I know"

"No, in a romantic way, wanting to kiss you, I want to be your lover and partner to grow old together. I want to live with you and I want to hold you the day after the full moon, bring you tea when you are sick, chocolate when you are reading and hear your sexy laugh every day"

"Siri.." Remus tried again, cheeks flushing in embrassment, regretting getting into this conversation with Sirius

"Remus I asked you not to call me Siri it teases me! I love you completely, since Hogwarts before the world ruined everything and took James, Lily, before the war, before Azkaban and before Harry" Sirius had tears running down his face, he made no attempt to wipe them away, starting to heave and breathe iratically

"Calm down Pads, sit down for a second" Remus asks, placing a hand on his friends shoulder pushing him down into the lounge, sitting down besides him.

Remus turn his back to Sirius pouring him a small glass of fire whiskey and handed it to Sirius

"Drink, it will help"

"Please believe me, I slept with so many girls because I was couldn't have you, I didn't have steady girlfriend because they were not you, I only wanted you"

"I think we have talked it about enough tonight Pads, finish your drink, you have been stressed and worried about me for days, you aren't thinking right you need rest and time relax"

"No, I love you and I will no matter how much rest I have or how much fire whiskey I have drunk"

"Get a good night sleep and we will talk in the morning if that is what you want"

"Will you believe me in the morning?"

Remus ran his hands threw his hair, looking suddenly exhausted pulling gently at the roots of his grey flecked hair, long after being away for so long and needing a trim. Pain had slowly returned to his body where Eddie had closed the large wounds and the bruise cream had stopped numbing them. He sighed placed a hand on Sirius's knee thinking of what he wanted to say that would calm the situation, not heading Sirius warning to stop calling him Siri as he had done since Hogwarts he started his sentence with

"Siri if I admit you love me wil you let me tell you why you shouldn't?"

Sirius looked at him "Rem stop calling me that, it does things to me you think im imcapable of feeling"

"I am too old Pads, I have aged horribly I have a body that goes through hell and back once a month, my body is in bad shape. I am poor Pads, I barely clothe myself, Eddie paid off the mortage and covers food. I am unemployable, I haven't had a steady income since Hogwarts and before that when Dumbledore paid me to be Eddie's tutor which was a cover story to the ministry. I am dangerous Pads, I am a dark creature who doesn't deserve to be loved. I turned into a monster noce a month who would kill you in second given the chance. Find someone whole, someone with life left in them, younger, with hope and prospects, someone who deserves love, who is a respected member of the community not an outcast. Someone who is worthy of you"

Sirius looked at Remus with pain in his eyes, not believe his amazing Moony could think so low of himself and believe he doesn't deserve love.

"I love you because of everything you are and have done or been, cant you see that"

He begs "Let me love you"

Remus eyes looked up at his life long friend and seeing the desperation there instinvily sighed "Lets talk aobut it tmororw, please sleep on it and think about what I said. Please promise me you will think about it"

"I don't need to think Remus, I love you" Remu shook his head in dispear

"Please Siri" he muttered unable to finish the sentence as lips crash onto his, an arm wrappig itself around his waist and Sirius pulled him flush against himself . He recalls Sirius' warning to stop calling him Siri for a moment before a tounge starts pushing at his bottom lip gently practically begging to be allowed entrance, another arm reaches up and a hand threads itself into Remus wavey hair. Remus gasps slightly before shock sets in as Sirius takes the opportunity to explore Remus' mouth. Sirus sucks, nips, licked and explores his friends mouth, his hand on the small waist starts to rub Remus back in small circles, the other stroking and combing the grey specked hair on his head. Sirius leads forward pushing Remus to lean against the lounge arm, Sirius moves his hand to rest of Remus hip as Remus' legs angle off the lounge, feet on the rug and he moves his torso to be mirrored with Remus. Sirius rmoved his hand from Remus hair and uses it to support himself placing it at Remus side.

Sirius kisses start as desperate and forcefull but to Remus' shock turn to sweet, gentle and passionate ones. Remus' mind finally kicks him as he becomes aware of Sirius thumb graising his hip repeatedly. He turns his head to the side to speak but failed to form words as Sirius attacks his expose neck with as much skill and loving attention as his mouth. Remus rolled his head back giving Srius better access as his body starts to responding to the attention given. Sirius kisses down Remus' neck before nibbling on his ear lobe, causing Remus to let out a small wimpering sound which sets Sirius into another desperate attack on Remus lips.

Sirius moans loudly into Remus mouth when finally Remus starts to kiss back, tentatively at first, with caution and with uncertainty. His unskilled lips crashing into Sirius's in an awkward dance that he doesn't know, a shaking hand places itself into Sirius hair while the other reaches out to rest over Sirius' heart that he can feel beating franticly underneath the button up blood red shirt. Sirius shivers under Remus gentle touch and pulls away gasping for air, steel grey eyes full of love, passion and fear stare into hazel ones showing confusion and uncertainly though a level of desire under the surface. Sirius places chaste kisses on Remus forehead, cheeks, ear lobes, jaw line and finally lips before stating for what felt like the thousands times that night "I love you Remus"

Remus looking into his best frineds eyes finding no inserity there and nodds his head once, acknowledging he will not argue with him any longer, Sirius slowly climbs up Remus body, moving him slightly so he was lying the length of the lounge feet up one end, head propt up on the arm of the other. Sirius is as close to Remus as possible with clothing on and places chaste, soft kisses on Remus lips repeating "I love you" adding things inbetween like "I love your eyes"

"I love you wavey hair when it falls in your face" "I love your freckes and the scar over your eye" "I love your sinewy powerful body" "I love your laugh" "I love your talent for spell work" "I love watching you read and how you hum when you find it interesting" "I love each scar on your body, it reminds me of how strong you are in the mind, body and soul" "I love your strength, speed and voice"

"I love you completely" Remus mind started to swim, overloaded with such senerely spoken words. He sat up abrunptly looked at Sirius seeing such love in his eyes shook his head several times

"No you shouldn't, you should love someone who deserves you. Im too old, too poor and too dangerous. Werewolfs don't deserve love" He pushed gently off his lap and stood up"Find someone wonderful, whole, young, fun and full of life like you!"

"You love me Remus, I could feel it when you kissed me, your scared is all"

"Sirius"

"Admit it Remus!"

"Fine I love you! I realized I loved you at James and Lily's wedding. But you hurt me Sirius, I thought you betrayed me, it ripped me apart. I lost everything that day, you, James and Lily and Peter. I was broken, destroyed and I stayed like that for a year, a year Sirius of alcohol infused despair!" Remus cried tearing racning down his face

" Unable to hate you like I was meant to, unable to get over you, morning my friends deaths, ackwlegding I loved a traitor, a killer. Eddie was dumped on my doorstep by my half sister then seeing this toddler sitting in tears on the doorstep was the only thing that saved me, she saved me Sirius,I locked and chained myself every moon to protect her and I have more scars than ever because the wolf morned too! He missed his pack, he cried out for his pack Sirius every month, turning against itself when no one came. I didn't get over you, my hurt continued for years until two fucking years ago when there you were in the strieking shack, almost unreconisable, souding deranged and desperate"

Sirius was staring, open mouthes at Remus as be poured out his darkest days, they had never discussed Remus' time before Eddie came along. He knew of Eddie, his half sisters child. His mother left shortly after he was bitten, unavle to handle it, his mother married a muggle and snapped her own wand living as a muggle. Her two children to this other man both were magicless but his half sister child starting talking in langauges at the ages of one. She spoke german and Spanish when no one in the family did, at 2 she spoke two more languages and couldn't separate them, speaking in a mix of them all. Her mother was sure something was wrong with her daughter, her grandmother saw the truth, a magic child! She was kept inside for her early life until in frustration that she ouldnt be understood she exploded a tv. Her grandmother bundled her into her car and drove for hours, scooping up a sleeping Eddie and placing her on the doorstep of the Lupin cottage, the house she ran from years ago and that Remus inherited from his father when he died.

"I loved you Sirius more than I thought was possible, I love you still but I will not let myself fall in love with you again I am not strong enough. I will not be with you Sirius"

"Why?"

"My heart is too scared Sirius, like the rest of me it is too old, too worn and broken to be able too. I am too poor, too old and too dangerous"

"But Remy…"

"No Sirius I don't deserve you"

Remus walked out of the room sobs shaking his whole body, he walked into the other lounge room where Harry, Charlie and Eddie were walked to the fire place, threw in the ash, stepped into the green flames and silently stating his destination disappeared

Eddie and Harry rushed to find Sirius who had sunk to the floor at Remus exit, crying with such force that his body shook violently. Knees bent up under his chin and a broken glass beside him Sirius held the photo of Remus taken with the muggle camera against his chest.


	8. Chapter 8

Remus returned home that night, taking several bottle of fire whiskey into the old milking shed at the property, Eddie found him like that pass out hours later. She had stayed to look after Sirius who had turned into a hysterical state and it took her a few hours to move him into his room with the help of Harry and Charlie, he calmed enough to tell them what had happened before working himself into hysterical sobs again, Eddie gave him a calming potion so work on his hand which was cut up and bleeding from breaking the glass earlier. Once finished she gave him a sleeping draught that settled him for the night, she walked down stairs with a heavy heart to find Harry looking at the photos in the sititng room. Charlie had cleaned up the broken glass and alcohol before leaving to get back to the Burrow, she approached Harry placing a hand on his shoulder.

"They looks different then didn't they?" She states to which Harry nodds

"Before the world abused and broke them, they had so much life and love to give"

Harry turned to Eddie asking "He does love Sirius doesn't he?"

"Yes" She mumbles

"So why aren't they together?"

"Its complicated Harry, a lot has happened in their lives and they are far more guarded than what me or you are"

"But Sirius loves him, always has, I could see it and he told me when I asked"

"I saw it too Harry, Papa didn't want to see it. He loved Sirius then thought he was the traitor who killed his friends, he completetly ruined him, he didn't eat, sleep or function for a while, he drank himself to sleep every night because he still loved the man who everyone thought betrayed them. When Sirius escaped and he found him at the shrieking shack with you before proving his innocence it was a slap in the face for Papa, suddenly he had this man back in his life. The man he once loved but before that the man who has his best friend and confient. He had someone who craved and needed his attention, Sirius was so happy to have Papa with him and he hadn't had that in 13 years Harry. Werewolves are ostrasized from the world, treated like animals in certain cultures, we struggled a lot growing up, Dumbledore had me listed as a child of the ministry who was under guardianship of Hogwarts, he hired Papa as my offical tutor and gave us accomdation as we travel for my education, it was easiest for me to be in the culture of any language I had developed, once I finished my education Papa was unemployed and worked in muggle stores or as hire labour but with sick days every month he never kept them for long. Papa felt like a person again, vauled and respected because of Sirius but I think he was so grateful for a true friend he refused to see the love in Sirius' eyes. He didn't want to lose Sirius is the relationship failed and he thinks it would ruin him worst than before if that happened"

"So he is scared"

"Shitless" Eddie added "He would rather keep a friend for life than have a lover for only a small part of it"

"So we need to prove to him that Sirius' isn't going anywhere and that he deserves love" Harry summarized

"Yes and that Sirius isn't going anywhere, he needs to have Sirius keep reminding him that he loves him, that it isn't going to change and that he will keep on loving him regardless of whether he loves him back, he will give in with time but Sirius has to be willing to do things realy slowly"

"He will wait, he will do anything to be with Remus"

"Good, I want to see Papa happy and I think Sirius does that. Tomorrow get Sirius to send me an owl when he is awake, Papa wont stay angry for long he values Sirius friendship too much to risk losing him"

Harry nodded as he watched Ed step into the green flames and return to France to move her Papa from the milking shed loft to his bed in the cottage.

The next morning Remus woke up in his own bed and found a cup of tea steaming on his bedside table and a hangover potion, sighing over how well his daughter looked after him he drank his tea first before gulping the foul potion that removed his pounding headache and nausea. He showered, shaved away his three day growth and trimmed his hair, after dressing in a tshirt and jeans he went down stairs barefoot like normal. Remus took a deep breathe in, noting that they had company in the cottage as well as a deilous meal waiting gor him down stairs

Eddie was sititng at the breakfast bar talking with someone sitting in the kitchen around the small wooden table. Remus walked silently to Eddie, kissed her on the cheek saying good monrng before turning to face the guest.

"Morning Sirius, Harry"

Harry smiled at Remus, Sirius not quite meeting his eyes returned the greeting.

"Eddie lure you here with her crossiants?"

Eddie smiled and flicked her wand filling the table in the kitchen with crossiants, fried ham, poached eggs and spinach, another wand wave set out plate settings with cutlery, glasses and mugs for the juice and tea.

Remus growled happily at the meal, his stomach completely empty over night. Eddie placed a hand on his shoulder before he started serving himself, letting Harry and Sirius set a plate full before getting a place herself leaving the rest for Remus to finish which he did quickly.

Harry spoke after Remus had finished eating, noticing he didn't speak while eating "Eddie said there was some work that needed to be done to the house so we are here to help"

Remus looked at Eddie "I could of managed it alone but the offer is happily accepted" voice soft and light

"Whats there to do" Sirius asked, trying to act completely normal

"The roof has a hole I need to patch, gutters cleaned out, a lick of paint outside is needed, the milk shred needs the loft ladder repaired, the chicken coop needs to be re wired, Eddie?"

"I need to clean out the attic, would like to clean the basement" She glanced at Remus who frowned at her

"Also we have the car to tune up, fire wood to cut, the flower bed needs weeding, I have the vegie patch to harvest and the fish nets to be brought back in, oh and I have bread and jams to make with the excess fruit besides milking Millie"

Harry nodded hoping things would be easier with three qualified witch/wizards.

"I have spare clothes for you both, you will get dirty" Remus stated producing two changes of clothes for Sirius and Harry, who both went to get changed and explore the cottage for the first itme.

It was old and small but well looked after, the main door opening into a sitting room painted in a mocha brown with floor to ceiling book shelves full to over following with books, albums, journals and ordamites. The large floor boards gave a base for the worn brown leather lounges and arm charirs, old movie posters hung framed on the wall, a few photos sat on the shelves and a small bar sat at once side opposite a dirty grumby fire place. A lamp and a coffee table sat in the centre with a half finished chess game on it, and a large muggle audio system filled a corner surrounded by cds and records. they had just left the kitchen with its eat in table which was all doorless cupboards, mix matched chipped dinner ware. Being open planned it had no kitchen door merely an archway but had was an cut out window looking into the kitchen with a breakfast bar on one side and the back of the kitceken connected to the laundry The stairs before the kitchen lead the boys upstairs to find a bathroom where Harry changed. Once changed Harry went looking for his godfather, the first room he found looked like Eddie's room, large enough with a queen bed, waredrobe covered with photos and postcards, a dressing table with perfume bottles and jewlerry box on it as well as a arm chair and bookshelf that included a muggle IPOD dock.

Harry wandered down to the next room to find Sirius changed but starting at something on the bedside table. Remus room was nothing like Remus in harry's opinion, but he was leanrning he didn't know his old professor very well. It had a large king bed with dark blue sheets, a bedspread that was made up of patchwork band tshirts and travel sournior tshirts, two coffee tables acting as besides with books pile high on both sides stubby candles in holders on each ,though one had an ipod dock as well. This room had an ensuite Harr didn't look in but a waredorbe without the doors showing Remus' collection of tatted jeans, tons of t shirts and a leather jacket before Harry saw things that reminded him of his professor like the button down shirts and dress pants. Military stlye boots and ugg boots were scattered at the side of the bed as were plates and scrolls of parachemnt. Framed music posters hung on two walls. The other wall had dozens of black photo frames with post cards, tickets, programs, pressed flowers and photos in them. The photos were a mix of muggle and miagical but all black and white. Harry spotted his parents and Sirius in amny, Eddie at various stages of growing up and one fo Harry recently with Herminoe and Ron at school. He approached his godfather and found the cause of his silence, on the coffee table that seems like Remus usual side of the bed was one photo pinned to the wall with thumb nails. It was an polariod like the swimming shot of Remus but it was Sirius and Remus though Harry might not of recosided him if he hdnt loked closely in the frame. The was smokey and dark around them you could just make out the band playing in the backgorunf of the dirty pub, both boys look about 18. Each had a drink in one hand, Sirius with the same arm around Remus' shoudlers the other taking the photo. Sirius was dressed in black, black tshirt, black leather jacket and black hair pulled back into a ponytail, a thin layer of eye liner made his eyes really stand out. Remus had hair that hung down to past his collarbone wild waves of golden borwn hair with oddly placed plaits in it, he was wearing an off white tshirt that had holes in it with leather and copper bracelts on one wrist and an earing in one ear.

"that's Remus?" Harry asked

Sirius chuckled

"That is the Remus I fell in love with, the real Remus" He added looking around

"Bet you didn't know he sings, use to in a band, they almost got signed"

"No, I had no idea"

"Remus has lived a hard life, some of it wasn't his fault, like his furry problem the rest was but, he lived the rock n roll life for years, he an old academic rocker hippy he always was anything but normal, wasn't he just beauitful" Sirius smiled happily

"Still is, he still singing in a band actually" Eddie added from the doorway Both men turned to find Eddie smiling at them. "Papa is in milking shed fixing the ladder Sirius he will need a hand, Harry and I are going to start on the bread and jams"

SIirus walked to the shred to find Moony without his shirt, jeans torn and cut off at the knees which were hanging low on his hips while he worked fixing the ladder with sharp wand movments, he started patching holes in the walls, and removed cobwebs. Sirius looked around the shred all but two of the old milking stalls had been converted to storage, mixed with fishing gear, tools for the gardens or yard, odds and ends of wood pieces, trunks of clothing or blankets and one had chicken wire up the sides but with an open half door that was the owls nest with water and food plus straw underneath at the other end of the stalls was the untouched still used for milking their single cow. Remus climbing up the newly fixed ladder was up in the loft which acted as an office or study with a large desk covered in scrolls and books, small old fashioned writing desk with feather quills, more floor to ceiling bookshelves still full and a muggle lap top with a printer on a table off to one side. A old arm chair sat at one side with a coffee table that completed the little sanctuary. Sirius followed knowing Remus knew he was there but hadn't spoken to him "Nice setup" Sirius commented, Remus turned, glanced down regretting removing his tshirt but it was another warm day.

"Thanks, there isn't enough room inside for it"

"Your house is lovely Rem, fantastically you"

Remus chuckled his growling laugh

"Run down?" He jokes

"Understately beautiful" Sirius answers

Remus looks down embrassed

"Why didn't keep it from us Rem, you inherited this place while we were still in school but never let us come here"

"It's a cottage Siri..us, its not the massive Potter house with quiddick pitch and in the heart of a magical community. We are in rural France, miles from but surrounded by muggle neighbours. There isn't anything exciting about it, its run down, old and simple"

"I really wanted to see this place Rem, always did and it is everything I thought it would be, just fantastic"

Remus grunted awkwardly, walking down the ladder suddenly, he walked outside flicking his wand producing a thin ladder to the side of the cottage.

"I'm going to patch the roof Pads, did you want to do this or start the fire wood? We do outside work by muggle means because of the neighbours and the view anyone could have form the street"

"Hmm I'll start on the fire wood"

Remus went up the ladder and started on the roof, Sirius looked through window intot he kitchen seeing Harry and Eddie laughing as fruit flew around them going into different large pots which bubbled, blended and splash everywhere. He could hear muggle music's being played loudly from the sitting room and Eddie and Harry dancing around the kitchen singing along, SIirus laughed at the children before picking up the ax and starts on the fire wood. After several minutes of hard work Eddie walked out with a jug of chilled water, holding several stacked glasses in her other hand. Sirius put the ax down happily and gulped down the refreshing drink while Eddie yelled up to Remus

"Papa" Remus came down still shirtless but consideravly dirtier, he downed the water as Eddie spoke

"Sirius why did you let Papa talk you into chopping the wood? He does it in half the time"

Remus laughed, throwing his head back releasing a sudden feral growling laugh

Eddie hit Remus on the shoulder tutting at him disapprovingly. Remus picked the ax up and speaking over his shoulder "I finished the roof anways"

Sirius followed Eddie inside with his empty glass. He placed in in the sink before catching Remus out of the orner of his eye, Remus was cutting several piece of wood at once, using brute force to do it instead of relying on the ax blade like Sirius had done. Remus's natural thin and pale body glistened in the sun, sinewy strong muscles moved underneath his milky white scared skin. Werewolves had developed to look unthreatening at first apperance but speed and strength oozed from them when unguarded. Remus walked in a low stance, shoulders down and hips low creating a prediorty stalk all slow fluid motion when he thought no one was looking. Sirius was captivated watch an unguarded Remus, doing very demanding physical work with easy and chopping a giant pile of wood in the time it took Srius to do a few.

Eddie placed a hand on Sirius shoulder

"He is comfortable here"

"He is beautiful, how does he not see it?"

"What you call beuaitgul he calls a curse"

"But its part of who he is"  
"He would sell his soul to be free of it"

"I would sell mine as well if it made him happy"

"As would I" Eddie sadly added.


	9. Chapter 9

Sirius didn't trust himself to be alone with Remus, he didn't believe he could resist the desire to kiss him again, taste him on his lips and hold him in his arms.

After finishing the wood chopping Sirius with Eddie nad Harry went outside to finish the chores, with music playing loudly they painted the cottage, mended the chicken coop, weeded the garden and had brought in all the ripe vegetables from the patch. The hours had widdled away before Eddie left the boys to prepare lunches, Harry, Remus and Sirius walked down to the river to collect the fish nets. Harry sat down on tree stump wiping sweat off his brow, Sirius smiled at Harry

"Feel like a dip Harry?"  
Harry nodded as Sirius produced board shorts for himself and Harry with a brief wand movement, Harry and Sirius stripped down and changed into the swimmers before looking over their shoulder looking for Remus.

Remus appeared at the other side of the river, standing balanced on a tree branch that over hung the river but still dressed in his cut of jeans. Harry waved and gasped as Remus drived off the branch into the river with a splash, Sirius smiled at his friends ease as Remus corssed the river in power fast strokes. Remus stood up holding the fishing net tightly in his hand, he hung it in the near by tree before walking back into the water and floating on his back with a smile on his face. Harry entered the water after placing his glasses on the tree stump and sighed as the cool water washed away the hard work of the morning.

Sirius ran into the water, tackling Harry submerging them both beneath the surface, splashes, swearing, yells and limbs broke the surface before a hand freed Harry from his godfathers grip. Remus grinned at Harry showing sharp teeth, Harry smiled back, Sirius sighed

"Rem I almost had him! I was winning"

"Yes Sirius I hope you felt tough almost drowning your godson"

"I do actually" Sirius laughed slowing walking around Remus preparing his pounce on his friend. Sirius pounced suddenly but fell into the water with an ungrateful ooph as Remus easily side stepped his friends attack

"You know better than to try to sneak up on a werewolf, don't start Sirius or I will throw you across the river"

"Nice try Sirius" Harry added cheekily

Sirius splashed Remus daringly charging at his friend when his eyes from the water onslaught, Remus didn't dogde Sirius this time, bending slightly arms out bringing Sirius close to himself and flinging him high and far into the river.

Harry couldn't believe his eyes roaring with laughter as his godfather resurfaced sputtering. Remus grinned at Harry before slowly stepping forward him

"No, no, no, no" Harry begged before trying to run out of the water, Remus picked him up with one arm around his waist and threw Harry further into the river than he had Sirius. A voice amplified from the cottage announced lunch was ready. The boys walked into the kitchen still dripping slightly and Eddie shook her head at them, her wand dried them. Sandwiches filled the table dozens of them, some cheese and tomato, oters ham and mustard, along with corn beef with pickles ones, curried egg ones and roast beef with tomato chutney sandwiches. Fresh fruit cut up filled bowls in the centre and a large jug of pumpkin juice finished the meal.

Harry was straving! He filled sandwiches on his plate and watches Remus grab a beef sandwich off Sirius plate. Sirius glared at Remus before getting another and eating it quickly. Eddie asked Harry about school, his friends and quiddick to which is answered happily, Sirius was watch Remus as he listened to Eddie and Harry talk, Remus was clearly aware of everything around him and Sirius eyes on him but Remus's eyes darted to the side before suddenly darting over to the window, opening it as an owl came flying in.

Remus opened the letter and his eyes snapped to Eddie

"Open the floo Ed"

Eddie awlked into the sitting room opening the floo network, the fire quickly turned green and Dumbledore stepped through.

"Headmaster" Remus greeted suddenly softly spoken again, his shoulders slunched down and sitting far stiller than he had been before.

"Afternoon, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you Sirius"

Sirius stood up at his name but it was Harry who spoke

"Has something happened Professor"

"Yes Harry, Grimmauld Place was searched by death eaters early this morning and they destroyed it when they were done"

"What" Sirius demanded

"It was the inferio curse, it was unstoppable"

Sirius slumped down into his seat defeated

"Everything?" He tentatively asked

"Most, except those things under protective charms"

"What charms, I didn't charm anything" Sirius asked

"Hmm that was me" Remus spoke

Sirius looked at him confused

"I put a few charms around to protect some choice items, worst case scenerio and all that"

"Like what?"

"Harry's school trunk, yours as well as the trunks with the photo albums and journals, the order related boxes in the attic oh and the jewlerry of your mothers and those emergency back pack with some of you and Harry's clothing"

Sirius pulled Remus into a tight hug, tears in his eyes at the realization that Remus had protected the things most important to him. Remus patted Sirius's back gently

"We can do get them out now if you want"

"Where will we go?" Sirius muttered to himself

"Here" Remus stated firmly, leaving little room for argument

Sirius looked at Remus, steel eyes begging Remus to say more

"You sure?"

"Naturally" Remus turned to Harry "its not much but it will do until you find somewhere permant"

Dumbledore nodded happy with the arrangement, his eyes glistening mischiefly

"Wonderful, now you should collect your things?"

They arrived at Grimulad Place to find a black sooted exterior, the damgage clear from the street as they slowly walked up the front steps, Remus gave everyone face marks to keep the dust and soot out before Sirius opened the front door.

The whole place had been completely gutted, it was nothing but black soot and ash, piece of furniture not completely destroyed created tripping hazards as they walked in silence. The old house had finally meet its match. Sirius led them first into Harry room where they found his school trunk looking completely untouched, Harry went to it and opened it, sighing happily that the context had also survived. Harry picked up an old suitcase with contained his photos albums and other thing he wanted to take with him in an emergency as well as clothing.

Remus shrunk the trunk and suitcase into small charms which Harry put into his pocket. Next they entered Sirius' room, it seemed to be were the fire started as it was in the worst shape, a large whole in the floor looking down onto the lower level. Sirius flicked his wand causing his trunks to appear out of different parts of the room, Sirius had 3 trunks, one from his school days, one with important family paper work and heirloms as well as another with photo albums, journals and a few spare clothes. Sirius shrunk them as well, putting them into his pocket.

He led them up more stairs to reach the attic which was the least damaged room they had come across. Sirius once again summoned the required boxes of order coropondence and an very old trunk that had Sirius families crest on it.

All these joined the others in his pocket.

"Okay" Sirius said "I've seen enough"

The dirty trio returned to Lupin cottage where Eddie was waiting.

Eddie smiled smpathically before suggestion they all have a shower and clean up.

Harry was sent into the bathroom he had change in early, Sirius stating he will go next once he was clean.

"You can put for things in my room, it has the most space" Remus said nautral voice making it sound more like a demand than a suggestion, which is was Sirius knew. He followed Remus into the room, pulled out the charms from his pocket and re sizing them, he opened on and pulled out his now only other pair of jean and a plain black t shirt.

"You shower first" Remus said, handing him a towel

"You go" Sirius replied cheekily

"No you go" Remus smirked back

"You go" Sirius repeated

"You go" Remus laughed

"You come with me?" Sirius joked

Remus' eyes dialted slightly, a pink tinge appeared on his cheeks as it took a split second before Remus' eyes had cleared of the desire and consideration that crossed his face when Sirius asked, Remus stepped back from Sirius, looking away.

"Rem, I hmm I was joking, I didn't mean to make a pass it was a badly timed joke" Sirius stuttered trying to get rid of the tention in the room

"I know" Remus confirmed

Sirius stepped forward getting right up almost touching Remus chest to chest

"I'll shower first then"

"Sirius" Remus warned, voice raw and almost growling

"Thank you for putting the charms on these, I don't know if I could of handed losing those photo albums"

"I know" Remus stated again "Your welcome"

Sirius lent forward and kissed Remus gently on the cheek

"you really are wonderful"

"Sirius don't" Remus asked

"One day you might believe me" Sirius sighed sadly before entering the bathroom.

Sirius let the water rush over him, as he silently cried, the heat washing away the tention of his shoulders and the pain from Remus' rejection. He wasn't sure how long he had been in the shower but he walked down stairs to find a clean Remus sitting with Harry going through the cd collection in the sitting room.

"Took you long enough" harry greeted

"It takes work to look this good" Sirius laughed

Eddie was sitting reading in one of the arm chairs

"I tuned up the car while you guys were gone, you can go to town and pick up a few things while your there" She suggested innocently

Harry smiled at the suggestion, Remus glaring harshly at his daughter while Sirius looked at Remus

"Fine, I need to drop in a cheque anyway" Remus conseated

Harry sat in the back seat of the old dual cab truck as they drove over a dirt road towards the small rural French town Remus had mentioned earlier. It took them around an hour to reach the small town, it was simple and had only the basics available to them. Sirius and Harry jumped out while Remus took his time leaving the car

"I need to go to the bank" He pointed down the street

"The grocery store is up there" He pointed the other way

"And the clothing store next door might have a few t shirts or something you get"

Harry walked off towards the clothing store while Sirius watch Remus walk up the street, he greeted several other people on the street and stopped to talk with one woman for several minutes in French. The woman was young, thin but large in the chest, she worn skin tight jeans, knee high boots and a button up shirt that had the top 3 buttons undone showing her cleavage and a hot pink singlet top underneath. Sirius' blood boiled as the woman laughed at what Remus must of said, touched his arm while speaking to him and kissed him on the cheek as she turned to leave.

Remus turned quickly, locking eyes with Sirius acknowledging he knew Sirus had been watching them, Remus walked into the bank and only after a few moments retuned to Sirius. As Remus walked towards Sirius several young adults walked by, dressed in ripped jeans, dark colour tops, gel or styled hair and many piercing they all stopped and shook hands with Remus eagerly, talking rapidly in French at Remus. Remus nodded and continued on his way over to Sirius

"Let find Harry, he will need some help unless he speaks French"

"Who were your friends" Sirius asked calmly

"Hardly friends" Remus stated

"Oh Rem, look a band is playing end of the week" Sirius pointed to the poster

"What are they named?" He continued, the poster was all black with large writing over the top

"Blackened Hearts" Remus sighed reading the sign before walking on

"Really" Sirius asked

"Yes, they perform in town occasionally, they have a large following"

"Music any good?"

"Not bad if you like that not quite heavy rock music style"

"Which you do" Sirius smiled

"Which I do" Remus agreed, Remus stopped out front of the clothing store as Harry left carrying 2 bags, he handed one to Sirius

"Jeans and t shirts" Harry stated

"Black?" Sirius asked

"Naturally" harry smiled more than aware that Sirius rarely wore anything other colour.

Remus walked into the grocery store, getting a trolley and started roughly throwing in things as he walked up the aisels. Harry and Sirius walked behind with Sirius threw things into the trolley ignoring Remus' glares, Remus continued to rush them through before Sirius placed a hand on Remus' shoulder

" Easy Rem, what's the rush?"

"Just want to get home" Remus muttered

"Your not embrassed to bee seens in public with us are you Rem?" Sirius joked

"Come on you mutt" Remus replied blushy slightly

After checking out they followed Remus into the butchers on the otherside of the street, Remus greeted the butcher kindly as he placed several very large and almost bursting boxes on the counter in front of Remus.

"Hungry Rem" Sirius smirked pointedly

"Always" Remus answered honestly before speaking to the butcher in French, the man disappeared and Sirius raised an eye brow at Remus

"He's getting more, this is my ususal monthly shop" Remus explained blushing slightly

Sirius threw his head back laughing heartily at Remus' embrassement patting his friend and want to be lover on the shoulder sympathically

" Don't worry Rem we wont eat you out of house and home"

The butcher came back with another box of meat before Remus paid and walked them out towards the truck.

"All done" Remus stated

"Is that the pub where the band is playing?" Sirius points

"Only one in town" Remus confirms

"Lets go have a quick one" Sirius smiles "I can age Harry easy as, we got pretty good at aging charms while we were underage"

Harry laughed "Im sure you did"

Remus shook his head "It isn't worth the effort" he started loading the goods into the back of the truck. Remus reversed the large old truck out of the car spot as a youth stopped to look into the drivers window, the young adult turned to his friend pointing at Remus saying in a thick German accent unplaced in rural France, " Blackened Heart "

Remus ignored the youth, Sirius looking at Harry clearly puzzled

An hour later they had returned to the small farm, Harry started carrying bags into the kitchen were he found Charlie sitting around the table with Eddie, empty cups of tea in front of them. Sirus walked in carrying several boxes with one arm, clearly having magically lightened them, Sirius put down the boxes and called out "Oh Remy" sweetly

"What you want" Demanded Remus from outside

"Guess who is here" siruis continued in a sing song voice

Remus walked into the kitchen carrying all the remaining shopping effortlessly

He looked at the table show Eddie then locked eyes with Charlie, Remus' eyes narrowed, he seemed to gain several inches of height, his shoulders squared off and his entire demenour became predatory and intimidating

"Charlie, to what do we owe this pleasure" Remus asked voice still in his fake netural voice but spoke with icey calmness.

"Mum sent me here with a few of Harry's clothes he left at the Burrow, said he might need them now" Charlie explained standing up and walking over to Harry slapping him on the shoulder affectionately.

"Ron told me to delivery this too" Charlie handed a letter to Harry with Ron's messy scrawl on it, Harry smiled and rushed outside to read his letter happily

Eddie started unpacking the shopping with random flicks of her wand

"Charlie was telling me about this new band that he discovered by one of his muggle born friends who lives in the neighbouring town the 'Blackened Hearts" Eddie continued

"Oh" Declared Sirius sitting down ungracefully "I saw a poster of them in town, they any good"

Sirius and Charlie chatted eagerly about the band while Remus and Eddie unpacked the shopping looking nervously at each other and the two chatting men occasionally.


	10. Chapter 10

Remus found the rest of the week passing quite quickly, Eddie kept the men all happily fed and entertained Harry most of the time. Remus found himself becoming more and more drawn to Sirius but he had refused to give into Sirius' advancements.

Sirius had used his time in Remus' cottage to push his friend as far as he could, hugging the werewolf whenever he could, lingering brushes on his arms and shoulders or back, kissing him briefly on the cheek when he wasn't looking then chase kisses on the lips goodnight every night after a night cap and chat. Eddie watched all this with amusement but said nothing.

Saturday afternoon saw Harry leave to go stay at the Weasleys for the night, as Harry disappeared into the floo network Sirius turned to Remus smiling broadly

"So, what is the plan for the night?"

"Nothing Sirius"

"Lets go into town and check out that band "

"I can't Sirius I swapped a shift with Tonks and I am on guard duty tonight" Remus lied

"Eddie my dear, what are we doing this evening then?" Sirius asked giving Eddie his fakest and cheesiest smile winking cheekily

"Sorry Sirius I'm meeting friends for dinner in London" Eddie lied as well

"Fine, abandon me, leave me to my own devises" Sirius dramatically sighed

Sirius sat himself down in front of the cd player and picked up a book

"I will entertain myself" He smiled

A little while later Sirius saw off Remus and Eddie, he wrote a quick letter sent it with a wand flick into the floo to the weasley household refusing to spend the night alone, a few minutes later Charlie came stumbling out of the floo

"Night Sirius" He smiled

"Fantastic you could join me Charlie boy!" Sirius beamed

"Lets get going I want to see this band you were talking about" Sirius continued

They apparated into a quiet side street before walking to the over crowded and nosiy pub, people spilled out onto the street in varying states of intoxication

Sirius happily walked in feeling much at home in the old pub, he and Charlie sat down when a young man had to take his date home after she turned a little green around the edges. Sirius looked at the posters on the pub walls and saw the same dark background and writing this time written in English

Charlie retuned with a beer for each of them and sat next to Sirius, after a few minutes of chatter Charlie's eyes swelled as Sirius felt a tap on his shoulder

"Don't let him see you" Eddie begged Sirius

"Who?" Sirius asked

"Papa, he will freak out so please don't move from here, we wont be able to see you from the stage" Eddie turned and walked way, dressed in black tight jeans, knee high heeled black boots over then and a silver shimmery tank top.

Charlie was staring at Eddie's retreating back

"Oh boy you got it bad" Sirius chuckled as Charlie blushed as bright red as his hair.

Sirius' chuckled died out as the lighten in the pub changed a middle aged man sat himself at the drums, he waited for the applause to stop and spoke into his microphone

"We're the Blackened Hearts, I'm Lock on drums, on bass we have Buck" as another man walked onto the stage to loud applause

"On lead this is Eddie" louder applause filled the pub along with wolf whistles and hooting

"Quite down you psychos" Eddie stated as she took her place on stage before Locks continued over the noise, the crowded clapped, cheered, yelled, hollered and stamped their feet.

"Finally our singer the one you sickos come to see and throw your underwear at, Rem"

Remus walked onto the stage and stood before the microphone with a half empty beer stein in his hand, he was dressed in jeans that were tighter than usual and he was in a t shirt that was grey, he was wearing the black combat boots laced up in shins and his hair was brushed out of his face.

Remus waited looking at the crowd

"When ya finished" Remus muttered smirking handsomely at them

"Right, if this is ya first Blackened Hearts experience here are the rules" Remus stated, voice somewhere in-between natural and his professor voice, he pointed to the stage edge

"The more drinks appear here the more we play, if it runs out we leave, ya got it"

Several drinks appeared on the stage and he turned and downs the drinks in quick concession

"Here we go" He stood over the microphone, legs both side and leaning in close

The first song started as Sirius stared at his love with admiration and desire

"Oh boy you got it bad" Charlie chuckled repeating Sirius own words back at him

Sirius didn't answer as Remus started to sing, Remus expressing himself and showing all his pain

Sirius had tears come to his eyes as Remus sung about things they had refused to discuss, Sirius felt his heart break as he continued to sing of his abandonment when he was left alone, Sirius in Azkaban, Lily and James dead and him believing the same of Peter in a well fazed and slightly cryptic way.

Remus stopped wiped his sweating brow on his arm and picked up a glass of beer downed it before doing the same for several more mixed beverages until he nodded his head to the band and continued

Remus walked across the stage standing with Eddie or Buck, leaning into the crowd to drive them crazy and shuffling back and forth. Remus's spare hand would run itself through his hair, rub the back of his neck or hit his hip keeping rhythm. Sirius smiled sadly as his life long friend spoke of his infliction and the curse that had affected his life. He removed his t-shirt standing there is a white chesty singlet that was damp with his sweat. He smiled crookedly at the crowded waiting for the applause to stop, he drank several offered shots of spirits and asked

"What you want next" to which voices yelled out song titles before a chant started

The crowd went wild, voicing mixing as they yelled different song names

"You get off on my pain the lot of you" Remus angrily replied continue

Sirius was shocked as Remus sung about Peter, such hatred and anger come through the song, feelings of betrayal filled Sirius as he thought of Peter as well.

Remus sung in a deep, broken and husky voice it was raw and honest to which the crowd responded. They danced, swayed and jumped up and down, they became angry when Remus did, calmed when he did and followed the emotional journey Remus showed them.

Remus paused at the end and took a deep breath, his stomach swelling with the effort of filling his lungs with air again. He drank as if he was dying of thirst downing one after another for minutes, not noticing whether is was beer, mixed drinks or spirits.

"This one I wrote only a week or two ago, let me know what you think" Remus stated not looking at the crowd but having a silent conversation with Eddie, Eddie sighed and started the next song glancing over to where she knew Sirius and Charlie were sitting

Sirius wishes Remus had told him any of the things that he had sung about, specifically his feelings for Sirius. It gave Sirius hope that Remus could admit in song that he wanted to be with him and wished they could get away and have a life together.

Sirius' mind wandered as he dreamed of being with Remus, several songs passed by without him noticing the words, all he saw was Remus, singing skin shining, pain, happiness and desire showing across his face. Remus walked around the stage, strutting confidently, teasing the audience and making them cry or scream with delight before throwing back endless drinks in-between songs. He rocked back and forth slightly and his hips swaying as he lost himself in the music, Sirius was captivated and he could hardly control the emotions as he wanted. A hand placed a beer in front of him and snapping him out of his dream, he nodded a thank you at Charlie and focused his attention back to the words of Remus' next song

"This is our last song too, the drinks have dried up and I'm done with this" Remus wiped his arm across forehead as he put down his last drink with the large collection of empty glasses at the stage edge, before turning around, removing his singlet and chucking into the ground.

Remus had his arms outstretched when he run the chorus' showing the world how scared he was. He sat on the stage edge legs wide apart, taking an offered drink in his spare hand drinking in the pauses, at the end of the song he laid down flat on his back as his unconscious ignoring the crowd who cheered, yelled and hollered. After several moments Remus sat back up and followed the rest of the band off the stage he walked through the crowd directly to Sirius and Charlie's table in the corner. Sirius looked down sheepishly as Remus stared at him unblinkingly before speaking

"Enjoy yourselves" Sarcasm dripping off the small sentence

"Rem" Sirius started

"Come on" Remus muttered as he walked out of the pub into the cool street

"Rem, are you angry"

"No Sirius it just took me awhile to smell your scent over the crowds" Remus looked drained and drunk than Sirius had realized while he had been on stage

"When did you notice"?

"Second last song" Remus sighed stumbling slightly on the uneven street surface

"You always written heartbreaking songs Rem"

Remus laughed bitterly

"Such is life"

Sirius followed Remus out; Remus rounded a corner into a dark alley

"Rem, your too pissed to aparate" Sirius' concern that Remus would splint himself

"I am, your not" Remus stated, stepping closer to Sirius

"Rem, I haven't side apparated anyone is years," Sirius laughed

"Not hard" Rem muttered stepping closer again

"Come on Siri" Rem laughed leaning onto Sirius' chest looking him in the eyes

Sirius sighed placing him arms around Remus' slighter waist and apparating them into the downstairs sitting room of the cottage.

Remus rocked back and forth, placing his arms onto Sirius's shoulders to steady himself. Remus steadied himself but didn't remove his arms instead sliding them behind Sirius' neck.

"Thank you Siri" Remus smiled

"Remus, your drunk" Sirius laughed

"Werewolf metabolism means it will wear off soon ill sadly be entirely sober" Remus sighed smiling sweetly

"I know" Sirius answered, aware of Remus' alcohol problems.

"So if you want to kiss me you better do it now" Remus pactically purred, voice lower than Sirius had ever heard. Sirius felt those words send shivers down his spine, temptation almost to tempting.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Sirius begged

"Badly" Remus answered

Sirius knew he shouldn't, he knew that drunk Remus was more reckless than normal Remus and when he sobered up he will be blamed but here was the man he loved asking him to kiss him, wanting Sirius to kiss him and willing to let him kiss him.

Sirius hoped that it would be worth it and Remus wouldn't hate him to badly as he wrapped his arms tightly around Remus waist and captured Remus' lips under his own. Sirius was so desperate for his friend to realize that he truly loved him; he kissed him with his desires, love and passionate bubbling to the surface. He moved both his hands so he held either side of face, rubbing gentle circles with his thumbs, he gasped as Remus pulled him closer and forced his tongue into Sirius' hungrily. Remus ran one hand through Sirius' hair, pulling it gently as his other held Sirius as close as possible to himself, Remus groan happily as Sirius placed on his hip squeezing gently. Sirius thought he might burst with happiness at that sound, he kissed, licked, sucks and rubbed every part of Remus he could blissfully. He nipped Remus' ear lobe before muttering happily

"Fuck Rem I love you"

Remus pulled back as if suddenly burned and from the clarity in his eyes Sirius realized had sobered completely. Sirius felt the pain in his chest tighten and tears come to his eyes again

"What the hell was that Sirius" Remus boomed, his natural deep voice amplified in his anger, he pushed Sirius with hands on his shoulders causing Sirius to stumble before he answered quietly

"You asked me too, you told me too, you told me you wanted me too" Sirius sighed

"You listened to me? I was drunk"

"I know"

"So what you thought you would do it anyway? Ignore the fact that I was not myself, that you know I struggle with alcohol, how could you?" Remus continued to bellow

"I'm sorry, I know I know I shouldn't have but fuck Remus you know I love you and you stood there asking me, telling me you wanted me badly. You held asked me to side apparate you and wrapped your arms around me leaning on me and smiling up at me. You may have been drunk but at least your drunk self admits you love me"

"Did I say that?" Remus challenged

"No" Sirius said defeated

"Well Sirius what is wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry Rem, I mean you were looking at me so. So sweetly asking. You were so amazing playing tonight, singing and performing, I didn't mean too, I couldn't resist, any idea how you effected me up there on stage. I'm only human"

"I'm not" Remus responded harshly

Sirius snapped

"Fuck you Remus, I am sick of you saying this. You are human, except one night a month! You are more humane, sweet and giving than most of the wizarding community, I don't want to hear you calling yourself a monster again," Sirius argued

"I am" Remus forcefully pushed

Sirius pushed Remus in the centre of his chest roughly; the surprise of Sirius turning violent towards him caused Remus to fall back into a sitting position on the lounge. Sirius was furious; he radiated anger from him and all sense or restraint left him. Sirius stood over Remus as he sat eyes blazing angrily while he yelled

"Dam you Remus, your not a monster and have spent all your life proving to people that werewolves are more than their infliction. You're using it as an excuse, trying to justify that you're scared. Scared of letting some one in, scared I will leave you again and you know your only making it worst"

"Worst" Remus asked

"Worst! I love you and have been telling you so but you ignore me, pretend not to care then you beg me to kiss you when your pissed and tell me you love me but wont be with me, so i'm begging you Tell me what you want from me" Sirius asked sadly

"I want my best friend" Remus stated looking down sadly

"I am your best friend Remus, I will always be your best friend. I couldn't forget or ruin our friendship when if I wanted, your too important to me. You are the only person who knows me, really me and knows all my secrets, fears and doubts. I will never stop being your best friend Remus" Sirius sighed

"Thank you" Remus smiled

"I will never leave you Remus, I will always be here as your best friend but I love you much much more than that. I will always love you Remus I have done for years and it wont stop, give me a chance, let me be your best friend and your lover"

"Sirius" Remus sighed sadly

"You love me, let me love you"

"Sirius…"

"Please don't ruin me Remus, your killing me slowly with each rejection and refusal you are slowly killing me. It hurts so badly Remus, don't you see that?"

"I don't want to hurt you"

"But you are"

"Sirius, its not that I don't want too"

"Than what is it?" Sirius asked desperately

"I'm scared, you say you love me and want to be with me but once you have me you might change your mind"

"I'm scared too Rem, I'm scared you will see what I see that you are the most amazing beautiful caring and greatest man and realise you could do so much better than me, your not the only person who is damaged and scared Rem"

Sirius pulled up the back of his t-shirt with shaking hands turning around so Remus could see his back, large scars ran down his back in almost straight lines as if someone ran a knife down his back repeatedly.

"Azkaban made me old before my time, it damaged me to the point I will never probably get over it. I am scared too, the few ministry workers would do this, make themselves feel powerful, they would laugh and taunt those of us that had our senses still"

"I didn't know" Remus stuttered clearly shocked and horrified

"I'm old, I'm damaged and I am dangerous Rem. I have seen horrors, lost everything and survived that makes me dangerous as I know how to survive and cause pain like that was inflicted on me," He added bitterly

"I am poor Remus, I have had my home burnt to the ground and I have only a few processions to my name"

Remus shook his head shaking the tears out of his eyes

"I don't care that I am damaged or old that we are scared and bitter because the things that make it all worth it is you and Harry. I would do it all again if it saved you and Harry these pains"

Remus smiled at his friend

"I just want to know that you love this me, not the younger me that is long gone"

Remus looked at his best friend with tears in his eyes

"That you love me even though I am damaged, old, bitter and abused," Sirius begged sinking down to his knees in front of Remus. Remus held his arm out to Sirius sighing sadly

"Come on Sirius, enough for tonight, I am exhausted lets talk in the morning"

"You have any idea how amazing you looked up on that stage Rem"

Remus laughed awkwardly

"No I mean it, your beautiful Remus. I mean I just couldn't look away your so intoxicating when you sing" Sirius smiled stepping closer

"Thank you Sirius" Remus blushed

"Rem can I ask you something?" To which Remus nodded

"Can I crash in with you tonight"

Remus' eyes widened before Sirius quickly continued

"Not like that Rem, I mean Merlin I wish for that but just to sleep"

"Why" Remus asked

"I… I… I get nightmares Rem, horrible nightmares and usually Harry come in and talks with me afterwards until I fall back asleep"

"You didn't tell me that"

"I know but which harry away I'm scared to sleep Rem, I see such horrible things. James and Lily when I saw them in the destroyed house, I see Peter sneaking away, I see Harry crying as a baby and I try to get to them but I am stuck behind these bars. I…I my mother yelling and cursing me again, I have James and Lily tell me it was all my fault and you telling me I am useless and unlovable"

"Pads, you know it wasn't your fault" Remus comforted his friend

"I see the dementors coming to steal my soul but instead they take my heart and leave me as cold and evil as my family"

"That would never happen Pads, I wouldn't let them" Remus continued

"Come on Pads, you can crash with me tonight"

As they entered the room Remus went to the bathroom returning to find Sirius sitting cross legged on the bed changed into black pj pants and shirtless.

"Good night Rem" He smiled sadly climbing under the covers and turning his back to Remus as he climbed into the bed.

"Sirius?" Remus asked

"Yes"

"Hmm….hmm"

"Don't worry Rem if you try to make a move on me during the night I will defend your honour and push you away" Sirius sighed defeated

"No, I don't want to confuse you or lead you on but could you hold me?" He asked quietly

Sirius smiled briefly before rolling over and pulling an exhausted Remus into his arms.

"Night Rem"

"Night Siri"

"What did I tell you about calling me SIri" He chuckled before realizing that Remus was already snoring gently.


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning Sirius woke feeling warm and secure, it took him several minutes to find the source of the warmth. Remus had curled into Sirius as the night passed, He had settled his head onto Sirius' chest with his arms wrapping around Sirius' frame and legs entirtwined. Sirius smiled sleepily as he looked at Remus sleeping soundly on his chest, Sirius noted how his hair shone different colours as the morning sun streamed through the window, brown, honey, blonde, gold and grey hairs fell off Remus' face onto Sirius' chest mixed with his own dark curled chest hairs. Sirius closed his eyes and willed himself to go back to sleep as he was concerned that his franticly beating heart would wake Remus. Sirius drifted off into a state of almost sleep as Remus stirred quietly. Remus also woke feeling warmth around him and he nuzzled closer to the source rubbing his face gently against his pillow before he realized his pillow was a warm chest scattered with dark hair. Remus opened one eye before wincing at the brightness of the morning, he closed it quickly thinking that he would just quickly go down stairs before Sirius woke and realized Remus had nuzzled as close as possible to him while he slept. Remus cursed himself silently, wishing he could remove his memories of last night as they came flooding back. Remus loved Sirius so deeply and shaking his head gently stopping his thoughts going into overdrive inhaled slowly absorbing Sirius's smell and allowing himself to enjoy the position he found himself in for a few minutes in a stupid foolish love sick way. He smiled to himself as he listened to Sirius' heart beat under his ear before a contented sigh exited Sirius' mouth as Sirius nuzzled his head into Remus' hair and tightening his grip of remus. Remus panicked when he realized he would not be able to untangle himself from Sirius before he woke, he tapped his hand onto Sirius' chest gently called "Sirius". Sirius moaning softly "hmmm".

Remus was trying to untangle himself from Sirius but each move he made only caused Sirius to hold him tighter before Sirius muttered quietly "Remy" before slowly waking and opening his eyes suddenly. Sirius opened his eyes with a sudden fear and need to identify who exactly he was curled up around, he looked down and seeing Remus' amber orbs looking back to him Sirius get out a husky chuckle "Morning Rem" Remus smiled weakly at his friend before pushing himself off of Sirius' chest "Morning Sirius" Remus replied neutrally as he put as much distance he could between them while still being in the same bed, he could not however not notice the look of longing and pain that his movements caused Sirius who sighed rejected before getting out of the bed

"I'm going to shower and I'll see you down stairs" he muttered before walking toward the door

"Sirius" Remus objected gaining another sigh out of Sirius

"I know, I know Remus, I said I would behave myself, I promised I wouldn't do anything but I didn't ya know? I mean I didn't realise I was and I know you are going to hate me for it but I'm not sorry" Sirius declared boldly

"Your not?" Remus asked

"No, I got to hold you for a little while and wake up feeling you curled up next to me. I am not sorry that happened because that is what I want to wake up feeling everyday if you let me"

Remus closed his eyes suddenly weary from all the emotions that had bubbled over the last few days.

"Pads…."

"Don't Remus, please just don't. Let me have that moment, you took back the one from last night but let me have this mornings"

"Pads" Remus stated again

"I'll be down stairs Moony, Harry will be back any minute, we slept the day away. Its already 4pm" Sirius added before walking down stairs.

Remus huffed indignantly before showering and walking down to find Harry talking excitedly to Sirius about his time away, Remus smiled happily, he stood around the corner out of there line of sight but with a good view of the two men, watching Harry wave his arms around explaining a prank the twins had pulled on Ron and Sirius roar with laughter. It seemed nothing was off limited to his pairing as Sirius winked and asked how Ginny was before Harry blushed and continued talking animatedly about Ginny and how wonderful she was. Remus felt his heart pull at how similar Harry was to his father and James love of Lily that seemed just was passionate, Sirius smiled happily at his godson almost bursting with pride over the exact same similarity.

Harry finally stopped talking and smiling sweetly before asking, "How was your weekend with Remus"

Sirius threw Harry a dark look that did not match the colour that flushed his own cheeks. "Fine Harry, we did some work around the house and relaxed"

"Was it relaxing?" Harry smirked.

"Harry" Sirius warned

"What?" Harry asked "You love him, he loves you, why are you making it so hard?" He challenged

"Harry its not quite that simple but I am trying"

"Try harder" Harry stated, "Eddie told me that Remus loves you more than anything and if you refuse to give up he will let you love him"

"I will never give up Harry but I don't want to lose him by pushing too hard"

"Maybe he likes it rough" Harry laughed before getting up quickly and making to run from a horrified Sirius who quickly stood and started after Harry who ran out the kitchen door and crashing into Remus who steadied Harry before Sirius came around the corner and ran into both of them.

Remus easily steadied them all from falling and laughed looking down at a squashed Harry who was looking up at him "Okay Harry" He asked concerned

"Fine" Harry answered "hmm how long have you been down here" he asked

"Long enough to know why your godfather wanted to chase you"

Remus smiled as Harry face coloured and Sirius made a small choking sound. Remus stepped around the embarrassed pair and looking into the kitchen curiously where Eddie was before a small paper aeroplane flew out of the kitchen towards him.

Remus opened the letter before frowning and looking up at Sirius and Harry.

"Eddie is out for the day with Charlie she said not to wait up" He continued frowned at Harry and Sirius' matching smiles

"We are going to have breakfast and you both are going to tell me everything I apparently don't know about my Eddie and Charlie," He stated firmly

"One condition" Sirius stated to which Remus nodded sharply

"I'll cook, you are a horrible cook" Sirius smiled

Remus shrugged his shoulders indifferently and walked into the kitchen sitting down heavily running his fingers through his hair tiredly

"Tired?" Harry asked

"Yeah, I'm not as young as I once was and late nights on the booze take a lot more out of me" Remus smiled

"Sirius said you guys just relaxed all weekend"

"He lied" Remus stated bluntly

"I sing in a band that was playing in town last night, Sirius and Charlie snuck in and well I drank enough that would of probably killed a normal man"

"Werewolf's don't get drunk?" Harry asked confused

"No we do, we just need to drink a lot more to get that way and we have a high tolerance for it but our metabolisms work through it quicker so we also sober up every quickly unless…." Remus trailed off

"You keep drinking insanely large amounts of alcohol which in turn ruin your body " Sirius finished

"Oh" Harry smiled " I can barely handle 2 fire whiskeys when Sirius lets me have them" Harry stated

"He lets you drink" Remus asked staring at Sirius disapprovingly

"Occasionally" Harry answered honestly "Special occasions or bad days"

"Hmm" Remus answered

"Come on Rem, we drank an awful lot when we were that age, I'm being responsible by teaching him moderation and taking the excitement or appeal away by it not being off limits"

Remus continued to stare blankly

"Come on!" Sirius muttered "Me and harry are going just fine, aren't we harry"

"Sure" Harry beamed

"See" Sirius smiled triumphantly at Remus

Remus didn't answer but was staring at Sirius' hand that was holding the fry pan with the bacon, mushrooms, friend eggs and tomato's. Sirius chuckled before placing everything on the table and quickly serving himself and harry before gently pushing the fry pan in Remus' direction. Remus nodded gratefully at Sirius before eating out of the fry pan ignoring the plate in the centre of the table. Remus ate then sat back in his chair looking at Sirius and Harry again questioningly

"How long has Charlie been trying to seduce my Eddie?" He demanded gruffly clearly not impressed with Eddie's explatation in the note.

Sirius smirked at Remus' fatherly behaviour and disapproving tone.

"Rem, Charlie is a nice boy, all the Weasley's are" Sirius started with sensing that this would be a long discussion before Harry jumped in

"Charlie is great Remus, he always has been so friendly and helpful to me. He loves his work as well, talks about it all the time!"

"Eddie does love that field of work as well, I can see the connection"

"I don't" Remus stated, "They have nothing in common"

"Love of Romania, love of dragons, hmm they both speak several different languages, appreciation of the same type of music, both members of the order and have over protective parents"

"Over protective my ass" Remus argued

"Come off it Remus! You're over protective and you know it! You have done nothing but try to separate Eddie from Charlie since day one"

"I have not interfered, I haven't encouraged it either"

"Why not?"

"Because he could hurt her! He could break her heart and leave her alone without anyone to support her or live for. He could die in this war and leave her with nothing!"

"We are talking about Eddie Remus, not what I did to you!" Sirius answered hotly

"I'm scared she will leave me" Remus sighed

"She was my everything Sirius, she saved me from my despair. She depended on me and as she grew she healed my pain, my suffering and taught me to live again"

"You are not going to lose her Moons, she will always be your daughter"

"I'm scared"

"Of what"

"Of who I will be without her here, of being alone again"

"You're not alone Remus" Harry answered bravely interrupting Sirius and Remus' conversation.

"You have Sirius, Sirius loves you and will be with you always if you let him"

"Harry" Sirius warned before Remus' spoke over him

"Harry, it's complicated"

"No its not" Harry yelled frustrated

"He loves you deeper than I have ever seen anyone love someone and I refuse to see you hurt him anymore. He would do anything for you to give him a chance and if I have to pick up the pieces one more time when he falls apart from your rejection"

"Harry please" Sirius pleaded

"No!" Harry continued his voice rising louder as he got angrier " I love Sirius, he is my godfather and he is the closest thing I have to a father figure. I love you Remus as an uncle I actually like, I want to see you both happy and I think that would be if you were together"

Sirius placed a hand on Harry's shoulder firmly but kindly silencing him before Remus spoke with his voice raw and guttural

"Your right Harry, completely bloody right" He turned and walked away up the stairs leaving Harry teary eyed staring his back.

Harry turned to face Sirius with a look of shame and fear; concerned Sirius would be upset with Harry for his heated words.

"Thank you for saying those things Harry, I love you too and I am trying to be the best godfather I can"

"Why does Remus push us away" harry asked

"He is use to it, werewolves aren't treated well Harry. He is just doing what he always has, keeping his distance so people wont hurt him"

"We won't hurt him," Harry stated firmly

"I did, a long time ago without even knowing it and I am still paying for it" Sirius sighed before adding "I will go talk to him, why don't you start cleaning up for me"

Sirius walked upstairs with a sense of forbearing, fearful of Remus' likely rejection. He found Remus standing in his bedroom, sitting on his bed with the old poloroid photo he had had pinned up above his bedside in his hands staring intensively at the old worn photo.

"Oh Rem" he stated sadly

Remus laughed bitterly in response before running his arm though his hair and rubbing the back of his neck to which Sirius asked

"Rem? Are you embarrassed" Sirius asked "you only rub the back of your neck when your embarrassed and shy"

Remus nodded once agreeing with his friend.

"You don't have to be shy with me Rem" Sirius answered honestly "I'm sorry, Remy Harry just…." Sirius continued before being cut off by Remus who suddenly forcefully kissed Sirius, placing a hand in Sirius hair and roughly pulling him closer. Remus' other hand had a tight grip on Sirius t-shirt holding it firmly. He demanded entrance into Sirius' mouth, realizing a soft moan when Sirius opened his lips. He kissed Sirius with passion that almost suffocated him; Remus' smell and hands engulfed him making everything around spin with the passion, desire, love and desperation of Remus' kisses. Remus pulled back sharply gasping for air but continued to slowly stroke Sirius's cheek with his thumb in small circles staring in Sirius's eyes unblinkingly. Sirius held Remus' gaze but after several moments broke into a large grin before pulling Remus into another sizzling kiss by his shirt. Sirius poured his soul and all his love into the kiss, giving it his all knowing that if Remus rejected him again it would be the last time as he just did not have anything left to give. But Sirius was startled when Remus deepened the kiss as he ran his hand under Sirius' t-shirt and pushing Sirius gently backwards until he laid down in the centre of the bed and supportive himself on arms either side of Sirius shoulders before breaking the kiss and returning Sirius' earlier grin. Sirius returned to smile, not quite believing what was happening before gasping loudly as Remus placed wet kisses down his neck then nibbling gently on his earlobe. Sirius ran his hand through Remus' hair lovingly and tracing the scar that sliced his eyebrow and eye, Remus closed his eyes with a small smile on his face sighing happily as Sirius continued to place soft kisses on each of his scars on his face. Remus opened his eyes, staring into Sirius dark eyes and quietly muttered "I love you", Sirius heart soared at the words before kissing Remus in a deliberately slow and sweet kiss before answering

"Thank Merlin for that! I was starting to think you would never say it. I love you too Remy so so so much and I will never stop"

Remus smiled happily, revealing all his sharp teeth in a smile that many would see as threatening but Sirius felt honoured to see the real Remus and his smiles.


End file.
